


From Scratch (dnf)

by snflwervol69



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Completed, DNF, Football, Jock!Clay, M/M, Pining, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, dreamnotfound, idk shit ab football but, nerd!George
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 24,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28559739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snflwervol69/pseuds/snflwervol69
Summary: Jock!ClayxNerd!George High School AUClay only took Programming as a filler class, but it's a lot harder than he expected. With a huge project threatening his ability to play football in the biggest game of the year, he gets help from a senior boy who he becomes inexplicably drawn to.George is in AP Computer Science Principles. He has plans to graduate early and go to MIT for coding, but meeting Clay derails every plan he ever made for his future.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound, Sapnap/Karl Jacobs
Comments: 113
Kudos: 661
Collections: ongoing fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i know the cc's have said they're comfortable w fanfic but if that is to ever change i will take this down immediately.  
> this fic is going to be posted on my wattpad as well (the same user as here) but i ask that you do not repost my work on other sites.  
> also i gave drista the name hailey in this story instead of just calling her drista.  
> k that's all i hope you enjoy :)

"Have a good day at school," Clay says as Hailey climbs out of the car.

"I will," she says with a certainty that makes him jealous. "Call me if you get scared again," she teases and he smiles sheepishly remembering how the year before when he was a freshman he had called Hailey at lunch on the first day because he'd been feeling overwhelmed and Nick didn't have the same lunch bell as him.

"I thought we agreed to forget that ever happened."

"Did we?" she asks, pulling the backpack straps around her shoulders.

He just rolls his eyes. "Bye."

"Bye," Hailey waves and then she shuts the door to the car and walks up the sidewalk towards the middle school, meeting up with Tommy, Toby, and Lani as she goes.

Clay pulls out of the middle school parking lot and drives in the opposite direction to where his high school is. He doesn't mind driving Hailey to school, but he's excited for when Hailey will be a freshman and he'll only have to make one trip.

The parking lot is already busy by the time he arrives and traffic is backed up for a few minutes before he can actually get to his assigned spot. In the car next to him he can see his friends are all sitting together enjoying precious moments together before they have to go into the school building. He waves to them as he parks and quickly hops out of his car and into Nick's.

"Hey guys," he says as he takes the remaining seat in the back next to Luke. Sam and Nick sit in the front and Sam is currently enthusing about some new coding thing he learned. As a senior, Sam got to take AP Computer Science Principles, which just sounded miserable, but he loved it. Clay settled for something easier, which was an entry level coding course. Unfortunately, Beginning Programming was much harder than he had anticipated.

Clay unzipped his backpack and pulled out an assignment for the class and handed it to Sam just like he did nearly every morning. Sam looked over the paper as Clay and Luke talked about the game coming up at the end of the week. There were two high schools in their school district and once a year the two football teams would play against each other. It was the biggest game of the season and nearly the entirety of both schools would show up to cheer on their teams.

Despite it being the biggest game of the season, Sam--the quarterback--hardly acknowledged the conversation between Clay and Luke. Instead, he read through Clay's assignment, his mind far from the idea of football.

"Do you know how to do it?" Clay asks hopefully. The project is worth a pretty big portion of his grade and if he fails it or doesn't turn anything in, he won't be allowed to play on Friday. That and his parents would beat his ass.

"This is a unit my class never did, I'm not entirely sure about this one," Sam admits.

Clay takes the paper back and thanks Sam for trying before stuffing his things into his backpack and climbing out of Nick's car.

They split up as they go to different classes, Luke and Nick to Chemistry, Sam to Pre-Calculus, and Clay to Programming. It sucked that it was his first class of the day, but at least that way he could get it out of his mind at the start. Besides, he'd rather start his day in Programming than Pre-Calc.

In his classroom Clay boots up his computer with a grimace and pulls the assignment outline from his bag. He hardly knows what he's being asked. He considers asking his teacher, but Mr. Phipps, a senile old man who should've retired eight years ago was going to be no help at all and Clay would just end up roped into listening to one of Mr. Phipps elaborate stories from his youth which may or may not have happened. The stories seemed to become less believable by the day.

Clay ended up spending most of the class as a study hall completing some homework he should've done over the weekend but hadn't. He felt like he'd been productive, just not with the things he should've been doing.

He coasts through the rest of his classes and spends lunch with his friends listening to Sam's newest assignment in Comp Sci which is so intricate Clay gets lost about two minutes into the conversation.

After school he heads straight home, knowing that Hailey takes the bus in the afternoons. When he pulls into the driveway, Hailey, Lani, Tommy, and Toby are all sitting on the front porch with lemonades. He's used to it by now, the whole group just randomly showing up at the house.

He waves to them as he climbs out of the car and Hailey flips him off in response. He just rolls his eyes and walks into the house, greeting his mom before heading up to his room.

He flops onto his bed, not wanting to think about the project in his backpack. Reluctantly, he pulls out his phone and texts Sam.

 **Clay: Are you sure you don't know how to do it?** He sends, along with a photo of the paper.

**Sam: I didn't learn that, but i know someone in my comp sci class who might.**

**Sam: I'll introduce u to him tmrw**

Clay throws his phone down onto his bed and takes a deep breath, hoping that Sam's friend, whoever they are, will be able to help him.


	2. Chapter 2

Clay shifts his weight back and forth, chewing his lip as he waits for Sam outside of the school. He knows there's no reason for his nerves, but he knows nothing about this person, just that they're older than him and good enough at coding to not only be in AP Computer Science, but better at coding than Sam. Despite attending the school for two years, he still didn't know all the seniors and wasn't used to having to introduce himself to people. What if he didn't get along with them?

He sees Sam coming as soon as he exits the school, his friend towering over all the other students. He grins and waves and Clay feels his shoulders relax, a bit of tension leaving his body at the sight of a familiar face.

"Ready?" Sam asks, keys in hand.

"Yeah," Clay says, even though he doesn't feel ready at all.

He follows Sam to the parking lot to Sam's car, watching as the lot empties around them, all the students in a rush to get home.

"He'll meet you here and then you can give him directions to your house to work on the project."

"Who is he?" Clay asks.

Sam's eyes flick past him and he grins. "He's here," and Sam exchanges a one armed hug with another boy. "Hey man."

The first thing Clay notices is how Sam towers over his friend. Clay's taller than him too, which feels strange since he's the younger of the two. The other boy has black hair and soft brown eyes that widen a little when he sees Clay. He extends a hand, which Clay takes.

"I'm George."

"Clay."

Clay holds onto George's hand a little longer than he probably should've, but if George noticed, he made no indication.

Clay gives George his address and simple directions on how to get there, and then exchanges a quick goodbye with Sam before heading to his own car. As he climbs into the driver's seat he finds himself hoping that Hailey chose to spend the afternoon at someone else's house, but he doubts it. They always choose his.

Sure enough, when he pulls into the driveway Hailey and her friends are sitting on the front porch. Tommy waves, a diet coke in hand, and Clay waves back as he turns off his car.

On the street, another car pulls up and George climbs out, his backpack in hand. As George follows him into the house, Hailey raises an eyebrow but he says nothing.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Clay asks, making a quick stop in the kitchen.

"Sure."

As Clay is making two glasses of lemonade, his mother walks in and waves to George. "Do I know you?"

"We haven't met. I'm George."

"He's gonna help me with my programming project," Clay explains, handing a glass over to George, who thanks him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you George."

"You too," he says kindly, and when he smiles Clay feels something tug in his chest.

He leads George up to his room and unpacks a couple of things. As he boots up his PC, George looks over his assignment.

"It's been a while since I've used Scratch, but it's pretty simple. This shouldn't take long at all once you get going."

Clay briefly remembers going over different programming languages in class, but he didn't take any notes and doesn't know the differences between them, much less how each one works. George, however, seems very confident and opens his laptop.

"So you already have the outline of what you need to create, the only thing you really have to do is make it. That means half the work is already done for you," George explains as Clay opens up Google Classroom. He looks over the assignment again, he's reread it so many times he could probably recite the damn thing from memory. Reading it again doesn't make it any clearer, but he can almost see the gears in George's brain turning. At least someone knows how to do it.

Clay opens Scratch on his computer, the program on one monitor and the assignment on the other. Next to him, George sets his laptop on Clay's desk, his own Scratch program is open.

"We did this project my freshman year, this was my final result," George explains.

His program runs smoothly and seeing the finished project helps Clay visualize what he'll have to create. He's grateful for the help though, because three minutes into working he gets stuck. The character is supposed to walk ten paces but it remains frozen on his screen.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," he exclaims and George laughs, though not in a mean way. Clay finds a small smile creeping onto his face and when he turns to George he sees his smile is mirrored.

George stands behind him, watching the program run on his screen and then abruptly stop. George shifts to the side and takes the mouse, adjusting a couple of numbers and then running the program again, this time it does work and Clay grins up at him. He thinks he might see a tinge of pink in George's cheeks when their eyes meet but he pushes the thought away and turns back to his screen.

He works for another hour with only two more roadblocks, both of which George fixes in under a minute. Clay can't stop replaying the way George lifted his hands off the keyboard so he could alter a line of code. George's smaller hands gently touching Clay's wrist and shifting his hands so he could type. He hears George's laugh and sees the corners of his brown eyes crinkle.

Despite not particularly enjoying coding, he enjoys spending time with George and before he leaves, they agree to do the same thing the next day. George assures Clay that they can finish it in time and Clay thanks George and walks him to his car. Hailey peeks out of her room as George and Clay pass by. She catches his eye and gives him a look that says, _we need to talk._ He rolls his eyes at her, which has become a common response at this point.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Clay asks as George climbs into his car.

"See you tomorrow," George says softly.

Clay waves as George drives away, and George waves back. When Clay turns back to the house, Hailey is standing in the doorway and he nearly turns back around and walks down the street to avoid her. Unfortunately, he still has other homework he needs to finish and he isn't wearing shoes so his only option is to walk back into the house and face Hailey.


	3. Chapter 3

"Who was that?" Hailey asks Clay once they're back in his room. He really had tried to shut the door before she could follow him in but she just slipped under his arm and threw herself onto his bed.

"George. One of Sam's friends. He was helping me with my project."

"You could've asked Toby," she offers.

"I'm not asking a thirteen year old for help," he argues.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm thirteen and you come to me for help all the time."

He chooses to ignore that and pulls out his English homework for the night.

"So are you and George friends or...?"

"We're not dating if that's what you're trying to ask."

Hailey was the only person he had come out to. Not even his friends knew he was bi. He'd known Sapnap since they were ten and still hadn't dared to say a word. He was grateful to have Hailey to talk to about boy problems, the only downside was that she often assumed he was dating people he wasn't.

"I never said you were," she says. "It's just... I know all your friends and I'd never seen him around before."

"Well, he'll be here tomorrow to help me finish everything before the due date."

"Toby's really interested in this kind of stuff, you wouldn't mind if he met George, right?"

He didn't mind at all, he liked Toby, but he also knew that where Toby went, Tommy always followed and that was where the problems began. He didn't dislike Tommy, but sometimes He could be a bit much. Still, Clay knew how passionate Toby was about computers.

"Sure, as long as I can still get work done."

"We'll stay out of the way, promise."

"I'm gonna need a promise from Tommy before I count it," he jokes. She just rolls her eyes at him.

"It'll be fine," she says.

"Whatever," Clay replies, opening his copy of The Great Gatsby. He knows he'll have a reading quiz tomorrow and will probably end up using SparkNotes anyway, but he sits back against the headboard and begins to read.

"You find your way okay?" Clay asks as George climbs out of his car.

"Yeah."

"My sister's friends are here, one of them really likes computer science and wants to meet you," Clay explains as he leads George up to his room where his PC is already up and running.

As Clay sits down in his chair and starts opening Scratch on his computer, the door to his bedroom opens and Hailey peeks in.

"This is my sister Hailey," Clay says and she waves to George, who is sitting on the bed opening his laptop.

Hailey walks into the room and is followed by the twins, Toby and Lani, who introduce themselves. Toby explains that he built his own PC and has been learning about computers ever since. Lastly, Tommy enters and waves to George.

"I know you," he laughs, and George grins at him. Clay raises an eyebrow questioningly.

"I'm friends with his brother," George explains. "I don't know if you know Wilbur?"

"Niki's friend?" Clay asks. Niki was in his grade and he knew she was best friends with a senior named Wilbur, one of the choir kids.

"Yeah, Wil and I are friends. Sometimes at his house, Tommy's there."

"Most of the time Tommy's here," Clay says and Tommy just laughs, knowing it's true. Clay couldn't count the number of times he'd gone downstairs for a snack to find Tommy in his kitchen. Once he'd gone down around two in the morning for a cup of hot chocolate and found Tommy sleeping on the couch. Hailey liked to make plans with her friends and not mention a word of it to Clay.

Clay runs through his program so far and begins adding to it as Toby sits next to George and they begin talking about various topics that Clay can't comprehend. They might as well be speaking a different language.

He makes it through a few more lines of coding before the program stops. He swivels around in his chair to ask George for help and sees him talking to Toby. There's a spark in his eye that Clay recognizes, the same spark when he talks about football or Hailey tells him about some European soccer team. It's a spark that only comes out when someone talks about something they truly enjoy.

George's lips are slightly upturned and he smiles as he talks, pointing out various things on the screen. Outside the window, the sun is setting and it casts orange light over the whole room. George's hair shines and the light gives his skin a golden glow.

Clay knows he's staring but George doesn't notice, so he lets himself look, admiring the swoop of his cheekbones, the warmth of his eyes. Toby must've said something because George laughs and Clay can feel a pain in his chest because it's the best sound he's ever heard.

George's eyes fall on him and he can't help but return the smile George gives. "I need help."

Surprisingly, that's the last roadblock he hits. The rest of the program runs smoothly and in twenty minutes he's done. He actually feels confident about his work. He knows that his grade will be good and there's nothing stopping him from being about to play in the upcoming game.

As he walks George to his car he asks, "Are you going to the game on Friday?"

He expects a yes. It's the biggest game of the year, everyone always goes, but George says, "I'm not sure."

"Wilbur's going," Tommy says. "I assumed that meant you would be going with him."

"Football games aren't really my thing."

"This is it! The big game. It's the last time Sam gets to play Jefferson, I'm sure he'd want you there," Clay persuades. He really wants George to be there.

George bites his lip and Clay knows he's considering it.

"Fine, but if it's bad I'm blaming you," George says with a smile.

"It won't be bad. We're going to win," Clay says, which he knows seems a little overconfident. Jefferson's team this year was actually pretty good, but he believed in himself and his friends.

"I'll see you Friday then," George says, climbing into his car.

"See you Friday."

He's reading more of The Great Gatsby when Hailey knocks on his door.

"Come in," he says, barely looking up from his book, though he isn't really reading it anymore. He can't stop replaying the way George tilted his head back when he laughed and how the sunlight had turned his eyes from deep brown to amber.

"George is really nice," Hailey says as she sits down on Clay's bed.

"Yeah he is. Did Toby have a good time?" Clay asks.

"Yeah, he wouldn't stop talking about all these new programming skills he'd learned when he walked him home."

Clay grins, he's glad someone understands coding, even if that person isn't him. Toby's a sweet kid and his passion for computers was inspiring. Clay had never really been that interested in anything, except maybe football.

"George really is great," Hailey says, and Clay can't help but agree. The image of George locking eyes with him flashes through his mind.

"You're sure you don't like him?"

Clay is jerked out of his trance and looks away from his book to narrow his eyes at Hailey. "No."

"Then why do you look at him like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like he's the only one in the room."

 _Shit._ He knew he'd been staring but Toby and Tommy weren't watching, neither was George. He had forgotten that Hailey was there too. She must've seen him.

"You look at him like he hung the moon or something."

"No I don't," he argues, but he knows she's right.

"You keep telling yourself that," she says. "Something tells me those feelings might not be one sided... but what do I know?" And then she slips out of the room before he can say another word


	4. Chapter 4

Clay glances up at the clock. He’s in his last class and has the rest of his night planned out from the moment the bell rings. He’ll have to go home and change. He and Hailey have their pre game rituals they’ve been doing ever since he was a kid on the flag football team at the rec center. He has to pick up Nick and be back at the school at 5 for warm ups and drills before the game.

He never plans this much, ever. The nerves tangled in his gut is an unfamiliar feeling. He’s never cared this much about a game before, even this game last year hadn’t stressed him out so much. In the back of his mind, he knew why he was so nervous, but he refused to acknowledge it. He hated when Hailey was right, which was unfortunate because she usually was.

As the bell rings and Clay packs his things into his bag, various students wish him good luck at the game. On Fridays, before home games, the whole football team plus the cheerleaders would wear their jerseys to school. Number 7 was printed on the front and back of his jersey, the number he'd had ever since he was little. It was Hailey’s favorite number and was her number for soccer. He couldn’t count the number of photos around his house of him and Hailey, side by side in their jerseys, the number 7 matching on each shirt.

As he walks out to his car he sees George standing on the sidewalk next to Wilbur. He doesn’t know Wil all that well, but from what he’s heard, he’s a nice guy. Niki always spoke very highly of him. Tommy tended to insult him often, but that was what siblings were like.

“You still coming to the game tonight?” Clay asks, greeting the two.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Good luck man,” Wilbur says, and Clay thanks him, waving to George again before walking to his car.

He tries not to speed on the way home, or get too distressed when he gets stuck in traffic. He knows he has plenty of time before the game, but he can’t stop shifting in his seat and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

When he pulls into his driveway he’s surprised by the empty porch. He’s become so used to seeing Hailey and her friends outside when he gets home, he actually forgot they weren’t also his siblings for a moment.

Hailey is in her room sprawled across her bed scrolling through her phone. He waves at her as he passes by her room; she responds by flipping him off.

He changes out of his school clothes, putting on a form fitting shirt to go under his uniform, along with leggings to wear under his pads. He throws a pair of sweatpants on over top and puts an extra sweater in his bag so he’ll have something to wear if the team decides to go out and get dinner after the game.

The jersey he’ll wear during the game is at school, along with his helmet and other gear. He has a tradition of giving his other jersey to Hailey so she can wear it when she comes to the game. Usually, she’s able to sneak onto the sidelines and talk with him whenever he isn’t playing, but his time on the bench is seeming less and less frequent nowadays, which is a good sign. It means that all the extra effort he’s put into practice this season is paying off.

As he passes Hailey’s room he tosses the jersey onto her bed. Her face lights up as she realizes what it is and she quickly pulls it on over her sweatshirt.

“You heading out?” she asks, standing up. He nods. “Pregame?” she asks with a grin that he gladly returns.

They head downstairs to the living room. As Clay grabs a snack from the kitchen, Hailey turns on the speakers and connects her phone, queuing a couple of songs.

He’s still eating when the first song plays.

Hailey dances as the radio is on full blast. He’s not much of a dancer, but he and Hailey have been doing this ever since they were kids, so he sets his granola bar down on a nearby table and jumps along to the beat.

It’s always the same grouping of songs, a specific order before his games and a different order before Hailey’s. His songs were Hey Ya! By Outkast, September by Earth, Wind & Fire, and Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey, in that order. Hailey’s were What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction, You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift, and Kiwi by Harry Styles. Her music reflected her favorite artists, his sounded more like a bad Homecoming dance but it was fun to just let go of any worries of the upcoming game and just dance for a few minutes.

He would never admit it to any of his friends, but when he and Hailey were little and the tradition was just starting, they had made a choreographed routine to September and still knew it by heart. It was, understandably, terrible, but they loved it all the same.

Hailey laughed as he spun her around and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face as each step came naturally after doing it so many times. It was familiar, comforting. It helped some of the nerves go away.

He sang the entirety of Don’t Stop Believin’ at the top of his lungs (another tradition) and was out of breath by the end. He knew he wouldn’t have a voice tomorrow but he didn’t mind.

At the end of the song Hailey held out both hands and they exchanged their handshake. “Good luck,” she says. “Even though you won’t need it.”

God how he envied her confidence.

“I’ll see you at the game okay?”

“Yep. You’ll do great!” she assures as he grabs his keys.

“Thanks,” he says with a grin, and then he hurries out the door, keys in hand, off to get Nick; then to school to win this game. He actually feels good about their odds. Maybe Hailey’s confidence was finally rubbing off on him.


	5. Chapter 5

He never should’ve listened to Hailey. _It’ll be easy,_ she said. _You got this,_ she said. He’d never played a game as hard as this one. Clay was on the field constantly, only getting to go to the sidelines for a drink of water, and then he was back in.

He’d been tackled more than a few times and his ribs on the left side hurt when he breathed too deeply. There’d be bruises there tomorrow, along with on his legs, one already forming on his calf where Jefferson’s cornerback had kicked him.

There was less than one quarter left in the game and it was still tied. They would need to pull something off and quick if they wanted to win. Clay hoped his coach had a plan when he let him leave the field for a quick break.

Hailey was sitting on the sideline in his jersey with ice and a bottle of water ready to go. As he drank she examined the bruise on his leg, but ultimately used the ice on his forehead and neck to cool him down. Even with the sun gone he still felt only seconds away from actual heat stroke.

He was so absorbed in the feeling of the cool ice on his skin that he missed Jefferson make a field goal, and then his coach was putting him back in.

“Good luck!” Hailey shouts as he jogs back onto the field.

He joins the huddle and exchanges glances with his teammates, most of them his friends. Nick is next to him, Sam across.

“Do we have a plan?” Luke asks.

“I think so. Clay I know you’ve been running a lot but I’m going to need you to keep doing it, yeah?” Sam asks.

Clay thinks about what this game means, not just to him but to Sam, to the whole school. He also knows that somewhere in the stands, is George. He ignores the ache in his ribs and nods at Sam. “I can do it.”

They’re close to the end zone now, working cohesively. Working like a team. It’s impressive, even to Clay. They’ve never done anything like this, even in practice, but right now they move like a well oiled machine.

He glances up at the scoreboard. Ten seconds on the clock, that’s plenty of time for them to win.

As soon as the whistle blows he’s sprinting, he knows exactly where he needs to be and he trusts Sam to get the ball exactly where it needs to go. He has a good arm, always has.

As Clay hits the edge of the endzone he turns and finds the ball instantly, flying towards him in the perfect arc. He can do this. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again. He feels his feet leave the ground, vaulting into the air and for a moment he’s flying. The ball is in his hands and he falls to the ground, bending his knees as he lands.

He’s losing his balance, falling backwards, and then Nick is there, and Sam and they’re holding him up, balancing him, grounding him.

He sees the student section pouring onto the field. They’re jumping over the railings on the bleachers and running to the end zone. Everyone is cheering and Clay can’t remember the last time he smiled this much. He feels Hailey jump on his back and even though his muscles are screaming he hoists her up over the sea of people cheering, she’s laughing the whole time.

“We did it!” Sam shouts. “We did it Clay!” He can’t keep the smile off his face as the students jump and cheer around him. Hailey has somehow maneuvered her way onto his shoulders.

He sees George making his way through the crowd, Wilbur standing next to him towering over everyone. He watches as George’s eyes light up when he sees Clay standing there, Hailey on his shoulders. When George breaks into a smile, Clay tells himself that he would run a hundred miles to see George smile like that.

Then George has his arms around him, and he’s surprised but in a good way. He wraps his arms around George, holding him close to his chest and in that moment with Hailey on his shoulders and George in his arms surrounded by his friends he’s never been happier.


	6. Chapter 6

When Clay exits the locker room after showering, he goes to find Hailey and make sure she has a ride home. The rest of the team wants to go and get dinner to celebrate and Clay hasn’t been able to spend a night hanging out with his friends in a long time.

When he does find her, she’s standing next to George, deep in conversation. When she sees him, she grins.

“You did great,” she says and she gives him a hug, but whispers in his ear, “Invite George to dinner with you.” Of course she was still trying to play wingman. As much as he hated accepting advice from his sister, he knows the best opportunity he has to spend time with George outside of school is to ask him about dinner.

“That catch was amazing,” George says.

Clay just laughs, brushing it off. “We practice stuff like that a lot. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think I’d actually enjoy it. No offense,” George adds, but Clay just wheezes.

“None taken, I’m glad you had fun. Will you be at other games?”

“Will I get to see you?”

For a moment, Clay is completely lost for words. He notices abruptly that Hailey is gone and it’s just him and George. He doesn’t even try to hide the very obvious blush creeping onto his face. He thinks about what Hailey said. _You look at him like he’s the only one in the room._

“Maybe,” he says with a sly smile.

“Well, I’ll try my best then.”

Clay grins. “That’s good enough for me.”

Across the parking lot, he hears someone shout his name, probably Nick.

“Me and the team are going to get dinner, would you maybe want to come with us?”

George considers it for a moment, but then he shakes his head. “I don’t know them, I just… I’ll be so out of place.” Clay understands his reasoning and doesn’t try to pressure him further, even though all he wants is to spend the rest of this incredible night with George.

“Here,” George says scribbling something on a scrap of paper and handing it to Clay. “That’s my number, if dinner ends early or you want to do something another time, just call okay?”

Clay takes the note and holds it in his hand, not even bothering to put it in the pocket of his jacket. He can’t risk losing it.

“I like spending time with you,” George says softly. “I don’t want to lose touch.”

“We won’t. I’ll call, okay? Probably later tonight if that’s okay.”

George smiles. “Yeah. That’s okay.”

Clay grins and before he gets too scared, he pulls George into a hug. He never really noticed how short George was in comparison to himself until they’re standing together, Clay’s chin resting on the top of George’s head, his hair just as soft as Clay had expected.

“I’ll call you later,” Clay promises as he begins to make his way across the parking lot to where Nick is waiting by his car.

“Ok. You did great tonight! Tell Sam I said congratulations!” George shouts, his voice getting louder as Clay takes more steps.

“I will!” he shouts back and waves before meeting Nick who is leaning against the passenger side door.

“Who’s that?”

“George.”

“Oh right,” Nick says, and then he climbs into the car.

If Hailey could notice every detail, Nick noticed none. Sometimes he was so oblivious it was painful to watch, but this time Clay’s grateful. It means he doesn’t need to endure an interrogation session like the one he's sure to face as soon as he gets home. He can already practically see the look on Hailey’s face.

He drives them to Applebee’s which is where the team usually goes. It’s become a tradition, even though the food is kind of awful and he never eats anything while they’re there. Usually, Clay, Nick, Luke, and Sam end up at Waffle House after everyone else goes home so he won’t eat until then.

“Hey I think I’m actually getting a ride so you won’t have to take me home, but we’re still going to Waffle House right?” Nick asks, looking up from his phone.

“Of course.”

“Okay, thanks man. You did great tonight by the way. We couldn’t have won that without you.”

Clay grins. “Thanks.”

Nick holds up his hand and they exchange a handshake they came up with back in elementary school. They haven’t done it in a long time, but they move in perfect sync, remembering every motion. Clay’s missed this, and right now he’s just glad to have a best friend.


	7. Chapter 7

Clay’s driving Nick to Waffle House and he’s wondering if it would be inappropriate to invite George. Most of the team is either going home or to some party, leaving only Clay’s close group. Sam’s driving Luke and they’re all meeting to get actual food. There was no way in hell any of them would eat at Applebees.

Clay hasn’t eaten since the afternoon before the game, and even then he only ate a granola bar. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a little lightheaded, but as he sees the golden sign he can almost taste the waffles in his mouth.

He’s considering asking Nick about texting George but Nick starts talking before he gets the chance.

“Do you know Karl? The junior?”

“Yeah, why?” Of course he knew Karl, everyone knew Karl. He was famous at school for getting suspended after doing a kickflip off the main staircase (which he landed) and also happened to sell weed.

Clay didn’t have a big problem with smoking, and he knew Nick did it but Nick never smoked around him. Clay had always preferred that Nick only do that when he wasn’t around, which was a promise that Nick had kept.

“We…”

“Smoked together?” Clay asks. He’s not really surprised, he knew Nick had started hanging out with Karl outside of school and that was very likely the reason.

“Well, yes but… I… we…” he stutters. Nick never stutters, he’s always sure of himself. He had a steady confidence that was never overbearing. It was something that Clay had always envied about his friend, but he’d never seen Nick get this flustered.

“I kissed him.”

“What?” That was definitely not what Clay had been expecting. He had plenty of questions, but he didn’t say a word. He didn’t want to overwhelm Nick, especially after he’d had the courage to tell him such an important thing.

“He kissed me? I don’t know,” Nick sighs, his head in his hands. “We kissed.”

“Were you okay with it?” Clay asks, silently praying that he wasn’t going to have to beat up an upperclassman for assaulting his best friend.

“Yeah I think.”

“You think?”

“I don’t know!”

Clay gently puts his hand on Nick's shoulder, “It’s okay,” he says softly, trying to calm him down. “Just tell me what happened.”

“I didn’t… not like it.”

“So you did.”

Nick falls silent.

“I’ve liked girls before, and I’ve never thought about a guy… like this. But with him it’s just so different.”

Clay exhales and feels the tension in his shoulders release, because for once he understands the exact feeling, though he can’t recall ever being wildly interested in girls. He’d always loved football and it had taken up so much of his time that he always assumed that was why he never developed feelings for any girls. It never occurred to him that maybe he just… didn’t like them.

“I like boys,” Nick admits, and the words are laced with a shame that makes Clay’s chest hurt. He hates seeing his friend like this.

“Me too,” he blurts out before he can stop himself. Nick looks up and when their eyes meet they share a look of mutual understanding. Nick opens his mouth, but closes it again. Clay can't find any words, but he just takes Nick's hand and squeezes it tightly, and Nick squeezes back. 

“I’m always gonna be here for you man,” Clay says, never breaking eye contact. Nick’s eyes are wet but he’s smiling.

“Thank you, seriously.”

“Have you and Karl talked about what happened?”

“Not yet, he’s picking me up after though, so I will.”

Clay grins as he thinks about the way Nick had smiled at his phone earlier before telling him he had a ride home.

“Good.”

“What about you?” Nick asks.

“What do you mean?”

“That guy you were talking to earlier. The computer guy.”

“George?” Clay asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh so his name’s George,” Nick says grinning and Clay just rolls his eyes.

“I was thinking about maybe inviting him here, since he’s friends with Sam me too... sort of.”

Nick smiles wider. “I want to meet him.”

Clay can’t keep the grin off his face as he pulls out his phone. As he texts George he feels relieved. He’s out to someone who isn’t Hailey. After years and years of friendship, he finally had the courage to come out to Nick. He sends the text to George and for the first time in a long time, he feels confident. He glances over at Nick, who puts his hand on Clay's shoulder, telling him everything will be okay without needing to say a word. Clay feels his chest swell with love. He's finally not alone. 


	8. Chapter 8

Their small meeting at Waffle House ended up growing considerably. Sam invited Wilbur, which of course meant Tommy, Toby, Lani, and Hailey. George had been the last to show up, and Clay was a little surprised that he had shown up at all. George had been so hesitant earlier, but when he sat down next to Clay in the booth, he looked like he belonged with them.

Clay was trying to focus on the conversations happening around him, but his brain was short-circuiting, running one thought over and over. George was sitting right next to him. Their shoulders were pressed together in the small booth. George was warm and Clay kept glancing at his hands.

He felt relaxed, truly relaxed for the first time that week. He had no deadlines, no big game to prepare for, no one to impress. He even could be himself around Nick. 

He was perfectly content with just sitting back and watching his friends talk, letting their conversations carry him through the night. God, he even let Hailey tell embarrassing childhood stories, not once interrupting.

“Didn’t you cut her hair off once?” Tommy asks as Hailey finishes another story.

“That was the other sister,” Hailey says.

“Jesus, how many siblings do you have?” George asks.

“Other than Hailey there’s another sister, older than me, and a brother.”

“And you cut off her hair?”

“Yeah, I was really little though.”

“I’ve done that,” Wilbur admits and Sam looks at him quizzically. “Yeah, during theatre. I thought it was a wig,” he shrugs.

“See it’s an easy mistake!” Clay defends.

“Didn’t you do it on purpose?” Hailey asks.

He glares at her. “That isn’t the point. At least I didn’t have a cardboard cutout of Harry Styles in my room.”

Hailey doesn’t miss a beat, she just smiles. “I won’t apologize for having good taste.” 

“True that,” Sam says, and Clay raises an eyebrow at him. “What? I’m straight, not blind,” he says, throwing the table back into a fit of laughter.

Across the restaurant, the door opens and Nick looks up, grinning as Karl walks over to their table. Karl has a style that Clay always envied, he seemed to know exactly what he was doing when he created an outfit, and even though Clay liked his style he doubted he could pull it off.

Tonight, Karl was wearing a striped sweater of muted blues and greens, his hair falling into his face and his skateboard under his arm. His shoes—red and black checkered Vans—were practically falling apart. He still managed to carry himself with calm confidence despite not knowing anyone in the restaurant except for Nick.

“Is it already midnight?” Nick asks, checking his phone. Clay does the same, and the numbers 1:08 light up his screen. 

“Shit,” he breathes, he should be getting home before his parents give him hell for being out so late.

“I think it might be time for us to go home,” Sam says, ushering everyone out of the booth.

Nick gives them all a brief hug before leaving with Karl. Clay thinks he saw Karl grab Nick’s hand when they were walking to his car, but he isn’t sure. He turns away from the window and takes Hailey’s receipt, paying for both of their food.

“I’m actually gonna go with the gang, we’re sleeping over at Tommy’s. Wilbur’s driving us home,” Hailey tells him.

“Does Mom know?” he asks, hugging her goodbye. He really doesn’t need to give his parents more reasons to be mad, he’s already out way past curfew.

“Yeah, I already asked her,” Hailey assures, waving before she links arms with Lani and follows the rest of the group out of Waffle House.

After saying goodbye to Luke and Sam, Clay turns to George. “Do you want a ride home?” he asks, trying not to get too flustered at the idea of the two of them being alone. George smiles.

“Sure,” he says and follows Clay out to where his car is parked.

“Your friends are really cool,” George says once they’ve both gotten in the car. Clay grins; he knows he’s incredibly lucky to have all the friends he does have.

“I’m glad you had a good time. I know you were nervous about not fitting in, but you did. It was like you’d been a part of the group all along,” Clay tells him as he pulls out of the parking lot.

“You better invite me next time,” George threatens with a playful smile.

“I will, don’t worry.”

They drive in comfortable silence for a bit as George checks his phone. “God I hate getting college emails,” he complains. “I currently have 1,357 emails.”

“Jesus, are they all from colleges?”

“Most of them,” George says, deleting a couple.

“Do you know where you want to go yet?” Clay asks as George directs him into his neighborhood.

“MIT,” he says confidently. “They’ve already offered me a scholarship. I’m thinking about graduating early and then moving as soon as I can. This is probably my last semester.”

“What?” Clay asks, wishing his voice didn’t sound so frail. He was leaving? Clay knew he was a senior but he expected to have the rest of the year with him. He didn’t know how to process the fact that they might only have a few months left together.

George must’ve heard the disappointment because he immediately says, “The plans aren’t final. My mom still wants me to finish my senior year anyway.”

Clay still can’t process it, and his whole body is tense and George points out his house and Clay pulls into the driveway. As he puts the car in park he feels George’s hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Clay smiles, pushing his disappointment away. He shouldn’t care this much. He’s known George for less than a week. They barely know each other.

“Thanks for driving me home, and for inviting me out. Thanks for everything,” George says.

“Of course.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” George asks hopefully.

“Yeah, I’ll call you.”

George unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over, swiftly kissing Clay on the cheek. George’s lips are soft and warm and for a moment Clay swears he combusts. He doesn’t even want to know how red his face is, and even in the dark he sees a dusting of pink on George’s cheeks.

“Goodnight Clay,” he says, and then he climbs out of the car and walks into his house.

Clay has to sit in the driveway for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. How is this his life? He met this boy only a few days ago and now he’s getting disappointed that George has bigger plans for his life that don’t include Clay. And now George is kissing him on the cheek. Clay lets his head fall back against the headrest, his hand tracing the skin on his cheek where George had kissed him.

God, he was falling too deep. He pulls away from George’s house and prays that he’ll be spending more time there, before rolling down his windows and letting the warm night air blow through his hair as he drives back home.


	9. Chapter 9

When Clay wakes up his whole body is sore. He can feel the bruise on his shin and knows there’s no chance he can fall back asleep. He rolls over and stretches, his tired muscles not making his day any easier.

Hailey must not be home from her sleepover because she usually wakes him up on Saturdays, but it’s far later than she usually would. Clay checks his phone and scrolls through Instagram, his feed full of pictures from the game. He finds himself smiling to himself as he runs through the previous night's events in his mind.

He sends a text to Nick and while he waits for him to respond, Clay showers trying to prepare himself for the day. By the time he gets out, Nick has texted him back asking Clay to meet him in the park. 

When Clay arrives the sun is high overhead and Nick is sitting on a bench waiting for him, giving a gentle wave as Clay approaches. Nick stands up and the two boys walk together, easily falling in step with each other.

“How’s everything with Karl?” Clay asks.

Nick smiles softly. “We drove around for a bit and he showed me his music. I was going to go to his house but… I don’t know. I got nervous.”

“Why?” Clay asks.

“When I’m with him… I lose myself. It’s not a feeling that I enjoy.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Stop smoking for starters, especially with him. I don’t want to stop seeing him…” Nick sighs. “I really like him Clay.”

“That’s good, really,” Clay reassures. “I’ve never seen you get so worked up over someone you like. That means he’s important to you and that’s a good thing. Trust me.”

Nick offers a weak smile, but it’s clear that he takes Clay’s words to heart because his demeanor shifts into the brighter version of himself. The normal Nick that Clay gets to see every day.

Nick playfully hits Clay on the shoulder and asks, “How’s George?”

Clay knows he must blush because Nick breaks into a grin. “I drove him home last night.”

“And?”

“We talked and before he got out of the car… he kissed me on the cheek.”

“Why do you sound sad about that?” 

“He’s leaving Nick.”

“What?”

“He wants to graduate early and go to MIT. He’s super smart so it’s not surprising that he’s already gotten in and everything. This is probably his last semester.”

Nick puts a hand on Clay’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “I’m sorry man.”

“Don’t be,” Clay sighs. “It’s not like it would’ve ever worked out anyway,” he says, and for a moment he almost believes it but he’s holding onto hope anyway. If only George would stay. Maybe they could be something.

He mentally kicks himself for thinking that way. George is older than him. Smarter than him. Who is he? A mediocre football player who couldn’t get through one freshman level Programming project without needing help and getting caught up in the hope that George could ever feel the same way he did.

He wasn’t good enough. He’d never be good enough.

When he gets home he’s ready to collapse on his bed. Usually he’d spend the day after a game watching hours of highlights on repeat trying to figure out what he did well and what he could improve, what he needed to practice or try again. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he opens his door to see Hailey sitting on his bed.

“Jesus you scared me!” he exclaims, stepping into his room.

“George is nice,” she says, jumping right to the point. He knew she’d want to talk to him about George, he just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

“Yeah he is,” Clay says sitting down at his desk and turning his chair around to face her.

“Please tell me you at least drove him home or something.”

Clay nods.

“Oh thank God, I was starting to wonder if you’d chicken out last minute. So, how’d it go?”

Clay shrugs. Minus the kiss, it had actually gone pretty badly. “He kissed me on the cheek before he went inside.”

Hailey breaks into a grin but before she can talk he continues. “He’s thinking about graduating early. He’ll be at MIT next semester all the way in Cambridge. He’s already been accepted and everything.”

He sees a look of understanding wash over Hailey’s face. “I’m sorry Clay.”

Unlike when he was with Nick, he doesn’t hold back his thoughts. This time, he tells her exactly what he’s feeling.

“It’s not like it would’ve worked out. He’s too good for me Hails,” he says, using his old nickname for her. He has no idea how long it’s been since he called her that.

Hailey shakes her head, she’s got that determined look in her eye, like when she’s trying to learn a new soccer drill. She won’t stop trying until she succeeds. That’s something he’s always admired about her.

“Don’t say that. You guys are practically made for each other. I saw the way you looked at him! He kissed you!”

“On the cheek.”

“That doesn’t matter. The point is, he feels something and you can’t let him get away.”

“So what do you suggest I do?” Clay asks.

“Keep spending time with him. See where things go. You don’t need to force anything to happen, just go with the flow. Be chill,” Hailey advises, knowing damn well he’s the least chill person in this situation.

“You should invite him to my soccer game tomorrow!” she suggests excitedly. “It’s chill, it won’t seem like a date and can just be time for you to hang out with him.”

Clay considers it, and because he knows she won’t stop nagging until he says yes, he agrees.

“Okay, I’ll ask him.”

Hailey grins. He just ignores her as she dances around his room and sends a text to George, asking to pick him up in the afternoon for Hailey’s game. It’s only a minute or so before George replies with an enthusiastic yes.

“He’ll be there.”

“Don’t sound so nervous. Everything’s gonna work out okay?” she says, that confidence he always envied presenting itself. He could learn a lot from her, starting with just being chill. This is going to work out, he just has to trust himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Clay picks George up at 10 past noon. His parents are already at the game; they drove separately from him and took Hailey with them. He’s fairly certain Hailey had something to do with that, forcing him and George to be alone together on the drive from George’s house to the soccer fields.

When he pulls into George’s driveway he’s already out front waiting on the porch. Clay waves as George walks down the front path. He’s wearing a light blue t-shirt and his hair blows a little in the wind. He’s smiling as he climbs into the passenger seat and Clay feels this sort of elastic happiness in his chest just from being near George.

“Hey,” Clay greets as George puts his seatbelt on.

“Hi,” George smiles.

As they drive to the soccer fields Clay rolls down the windows and lets the radio blast. He glances over at George every so often and can’t keep the smile off his face as he sees George’s hair blow away from his face, a gentle smile on his lips. 

When they pull into the parking lot he catches a glimpse of Hailey who is on the field practicing. Her team is in uniform and he sees the number 7 printed on the back.

“My parents are already here, but the game hasn’t started yet,” Clay says climbing out of the car.

“I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really watch soccer and don’t entirely understand it,” George admits.

Clay just grins. “That’s why I’m here.”

They find a seat in the bleachers on the top row where Clay can lean back against the fence. His parents are nearby and he can see the whole field. Hailey waved to the two of them when they sat down.

“I’m sorry if I scared you the other night,” George says.

Clay’s heart pounds, but he says, “It’s alright. Your future is up to you. Besides, getting accepted to MIT so early is crazy. It’s a great opportunity and if you want to take it, then you should.”

“Oh… um… thanks. I’m still not sure if I’ll take it. My mom thinks it’s better for me not to, and there’s plenty of reasons to stay here and finish my senior year.”

“I don’t want to sound like I’m influencing you, but if you miss second semester you’ll miss Dart Wars,” Clay says with a grin.

Dart Wars is a tradition, typically the seniors versus juniors. Teams of four to six people would be formed and they would need to eliminate the other teams with Nerf guns. The rules were more complicated than that, but Clay still had a year before he would be allowed to participate.

George smiles softly to himself. “My team lost pretty early on last year, but hopefully we can make it further this year. Sam and I are already planning to team together.”

“Well, that significantly helps your chances,” Clay says. He knows how talented Sam is. “You’ve got prom too right?” he asks.

George laughs softly. “I’ve never actually been to a school dance.”

“What?” Clay asks and George just laughs louder. “You’ve been going to this school for four years and you’ve never been to a single school dance? There’s like three every year!”

“School dances aren’t really my scene,” George argues.

“Just like how football games aren’t your thing?” Clay counters. “You had fun on Friday didn’t you?”

“It was fine,” George says. “I had more fun after the game though. I’m not a fan of crowds.”

“I understand that. Waffle House was a lot more fun than getting kicked by the other team.”

“They kicked you?” George asks, a look of surprise and slight anger on his face.

“Not entirely on purpose, though I’m sure none of them regret doing it.”

“That’s awful.”

Clay just laughs. “That’s normal.”

Hailey’s team is much nicer. The worst injury was Hailey accidentally sliding into another girl and profusely apologizing afterward.

Her team wins 3-1 and she scores one of the goals. During the short break after she runs past him and they quickly exchange their handshake before she runs back onto the field.

Clay cheers loudly whenever their team scores and even though George is less enthusiastic he still cheers happily after every goal. 

When the game is over, Hailey jumps on his back, and though he’s still very sore from the game he picks her up anyway, George laughing the whole time. Clay’s mom comes over and Hailey slips off his back to give her a hug. 

“You did great Hails,” she says, hugging her tightly. 

“Thanks mom.”

“Hello again George.”

“Hey,” he grins.

Clay’s mother turns back to Hailey. “Since you scored, I thought we could get ice cream. You boys want to tag along?” she asks.

“I actually should be getting home, but thank you,” George says.

“I’ll drive you. Bye mom. Bye Hailey, you did great!” Clay says and he and George walk out to the car.

When they get back in the car and start driving, George sings loudly and Clay laughs, singing along with him. The windows are rolled down and the wind blows Clay’s hair out of his face. As he slows down and the wind dies down he glances over at George and catches him staring, eyes wide, lips parted. His eyes flick back to the road and he pretends not to notice.

When he parks in George’s driveway he rolls up the window. The house looks dark and he wonders if he should invite George over since his parents are probably gone. He doesn’t want to drop George off at an empty house.

“Thanks for today. This was a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad you had a good time,” Clay says, turning to face George.

“Um… earlier, when I was talking about not meaning to scare you… I meant the um… the kiss. I’m sorry if I overstepped or made you uncomfortable I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

Clay takes George’s hand. “Don’t be sorry. I… I liked it.”

George’s cheeks flush red, but he smiles. “Do you want to stay? Just for a bit.” George says.

Clay knows that maybe it’s a bad idea to be alone with George right now, but he pushes those thoughts away and instead turns off his car and follows George into his house.


	11. Chapter 11

George’s house is small but neat. He turns on lights as they pass and he leads Clay up to his bedroom. As Clay looks at the photos on the walls he sees George grow up, from a tiny first-grader missing his front tooth to his freshman year when he wore wire-rimmed glasses to this year, his senior photos of him in a suit at a park. Clay sees his parents age too. George's family is small but they look so happy together. 

Clay can’t remember the last time his family all did something together. His mom still tries to take him and Hailey out for brunch once a month, but nowadays his dad never came with them. His dad was hardly around him anymore, only really talking to him after a game.

He had started playing football because of his dad, but he continued because he fell in love with the game. Now that his dad was becoming distant, he tried his hardest not to let that ruin football for him. He worked so hard because he enjoyed it, not because he wanted to impress his father.

George’s dad looks very different from Clay's, smart and thoughtful instead of angry. There’s a photo of him in front of the nearby university. He must be a professor.

Inside George’s room, it’s sparsely decorated. Everything was very minimal, but coherent. The most eye-catching bit was George’s desk, where his PC is set up. On the wall behind it is a poster of MIT’s campus.

The blankets on his bed are sky blue and soft, and on his dresser is a record player. Clay kneels next to it and browses George’s vinyl collection. 

“I didn’t know you collected records,” Clay says, dragging his finger along the spines of each vinyl.

“Yeah, my dad and I collect them together.” George pulls out a record. “This is my oldest one. My dad gave it to me, from his collection.”

Clay gingerly takes the vinyl from George and pulls it out of its sleeve.  _ What a Wonderful World  _ is printed on the front along with a picture of a grinning Louis Armstrong. 

George plugs in his speakers as Clay sets the record onto the turntable and presses play. A familiar melody fills the room and George breaks into a smile, before holding his hands out to Clay.

He pauses for a moment, once again wondering if this is a good idea, but he knows he’ll regret it forever if he doesn’t. His smile widens and he takes George’s hands. The air is stolen from his lungs as George pulls him closer and places one hand on George’s shoulder, holding the other. Clay has never actually danced with anyone, and he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he’s never been happier than he is now—swaying slowly around George’s room.

At some point during the song, he feels George rest his head on his chest. Their height difference still surprises him, but it feels right.

They sway together and George is singing softly. Clay wants him so badly he can feel it in his chest. He’s so happy he feels practically weightless, and his cheeks are tired from smiling so much.

As the song begins to wind down Clay takes his hand off George’s shoulder and uses his other hand to spin George around. The song ends and the next begins as Clay nearly collapses onto George’s bed, still smiling like an idiot.

George is laughing at nothing, but it’s so contagious that Clay can’t help but join in. George crosses the room in two steps and sits on the bed next to Clay, smiling down at him. Clay is suddenly very nervous, but he knows he can’t let this moment get away.

Clay slowly sits up and looks at George, whose eyes are wide, his lips slightly parted. His eyes glance down at Clay’s lips and then back up again and before he can let his nerves take over George leans in and kisses him softly.

It’s everything Clay knows he’s been missing for his whole life. George’s face fits in his hands perfectly and his lips are soft and warm. It’s his first kiss, and feels a little overwhelming, but it’s over too soon.

“Was that okay?” George asks softly, his voice hesitant and laced with what Clay thinks might be fear. After everything, George is still wondering if he’s overstepped.

“Kiss me again,” Clay says breathlessly. 

George smiles and leans back into where Clay is waiting for him. George’s hands tangle themselves in Clay’s hair and he lays back on the bed, George nearly on top of him. His hands run up and down George’s spine and their lips move together. Clay’s chest feels tight, packed so full of emotion. He smiles into the kiss and hears George’s muffled laugh as he pulls him closer.

When they finally pull apart Clay is breathing heavily like he just ran a mile; George has a grin on his face. He lays next to Clay, laughing a bit as he pulls him onto his chest. 

“You’re beautiful,” he says, brushing Clay’s hair out of his face. Clay knows he must be blushing but he just grins, his hand coming up to trace George’s jawline.

“So are you,” he replies, and is surprised when George doesn’t reply and instead looks away. “George? Did I do something wrong?”

“It’s just… I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. You know, I’ve liked you for almost a year Clay.”

“What?”

“Yeah, last year I went to a football practice to take Sam home after his car broke down. You were almost a miniature Sam, calling out plays and everything. You were a leader and I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

“Really?” Clay asks. He can’t remember ever seeing George at one of their practices.

“Yeah. I almost said something after practice. You went to tell Sam something, but you left right after. It was like you didn’t even see me at all. I almost gave up on you right then, but Sam started talking about you in the car; how you were talented and could take his place after he graduated. He believed in you so much, I guess it rubbed off on me.”

“I’m sorry,” Clay says softly. He had no idea he had done that, which likely only made it worse.

“It’s okay. I know now that you’re not like that. You’re funny and smart and talented and…”

“Beautiful?”

George laughs. “Yeah,” he traces Clays cheek and his hand rests in his hair. “Beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful too,” Clay says, making George blush.

Clay looks into George’s eyes again, a deep brown full of intelligence. George smiles at him and Clay returns it, before pulling him back in and kissing him softly. This is everything he’s been looking for, and now it’s all here. He runs his hands through George’s hair and lets himself melt into the kiss. He’s here with George; that’s all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i loved writing this scene!!! i hope y'all are enjoying this. all the positive words mean so much to me, you guys are so sweet. remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourselves. i love you <3


	12. Chapter 12

“Come on,” Clay says laughing, pulling on George’s sleeve.

“Why are we back at school?” George complains, but he’s smiling and allows Clay to drag him along the sidewalk towards the football field.

It’s been a week since the last time Clay saw George, minus a few brief seconds in the halls; even then it was never more than a wave.  _ It’s been a week since I kissed him,  _ Clay’s subconscious reminds him. 

When he was driving to pick George up he was scared that things might be awkward. He thought they might’ve changed after everything; that the gentle teasing and effortless conversations would end now that he and George were… whatever they were. He was pleasantly surprised when George climbed into his passenger seat and greeted him with a kiss, which was followed by George immediately stealing the aux cord and playing his own music.

Clay leads George across the football field, which is thankfully empty. He doesn’t let go of George’s sleeve until they’re standing by the benches on the opposite side of the field. He turns around and faces George, who looks a little lost.

He extends his hand, “I’m Clay,” he says.

“I know dickhead.”

“That’s not very nice,” Clay pretends to pout.

“What are you even doing?” George asks.

“The last time you saw me on this field you felt like I didn’t notice you. I want to try again,” Clay says, his hand still extended towards George. “I see you now, and I want to make things right.”

George is blushing now, and he can’t stop smiling as he takes Clay’s hand and shakes it.

“I’m George.”

“I’m not great with words so I’m going to keep this short. I really like you George, and I want to take you on a date, if you want to,” Clay says, his words tumbling out of his mouth before he really has time to think about everything that he’s saying.

“I would love that,” George says grinning, and this time when he takes Clay’s hand he doesn’t let go.

“Your sister didn’t seem like that when I met her,” George says in response to more childhood stories from back when Clay and Hailey used to hate each other. It was like they had promised to spend every waking moment trying to hurt the other, and most of the time it worked.

“She’s gotten much better trust me,” Clay says. “Once she hit me in the head with a croquet ball.”

“On purpose?”

“Surprisingly no,” Clay says, which makes George laugh. 

“It was during the Olympics,” he explains. “We had spent the afternoon watching shot-put together and wanted to try it ourselves. We were actually getting along that day. I don’t even want to think about what might have happened if she was actually mad at me.”

“You’d have another scar like that one,” George says, tracing a crescent-shaped scar on his jawline from the time Hailey threw ice at him, but it turned out to be a rock. He's still not sure if it was an accident or if she knew it was a rock when she picked it up and decided to throw it anyway.

“You wanna know how I got these scars?” Clay says with a terrible accent, sending George into another fit of laughter.

“God you must’ve had an eventful childhood.”

“That’s certainly one way to describe it,” Clay says, remembering another time he pushed Hailey down a hill in their old wagon and it almost tipped over. 

“What about you?” Clay asks. “You don’t have any siblings right?”

“Nope, but I’ve got plenty of cousins. It’s not often anymore but when I was a kid there was almost always some family member living in my house.”

“That’s nice, at least you had someone to spend time with.”

“Yeah, though none of my cousins ever plotted my actual murder.”

“I think Hailey might’ve been joking about that, but I honestly couldn’t tell you,” Clay says, laughing at the memory. 

He and Hailey never agreed on anything, until Clay was 8 and Hailey was 5 and their dad showed them their first football game. It was the longest they had ever gone without fighting and by the end of that football season, they had become almost friends. There was certainly no more fist fighting in the kitchen over a box of Cheez-Its.

Football had brought him and his sister together, and in a way, his dad had done it. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t notice how rarely his father was at home now. He wouldn’t even watch Sunday night games with them anymore, and instead would head to Buffalo Wild Wings and watch the game there with his work friends.

Clay didn’t mind; his dad had a habit of getting angry over games which was something Clay always hated. He didn’t understand it and he knew that the yelling scared Hailey. He was perfectly content with watching Sunday Night Football with Hailey, cheering at every touchdown and throwing popcorn at each other.

“You okay?” George asks, noticing how Clay has gone quiet, lost in thought.

“Yeah. It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?” George asks. “You know you can talk to me right?”

“Well… The reason Hailey and I stopped fighting and became friends was because my dad showed us a football game. He… he isn’t very involved anymore.”

George takes Clay's hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. He won’t ruin football for me. He can’t ruin anything,” Clay says, smiling weakly. He wants to believe it so badly, but he’s just not sure it’s true. 

George drops the subject but he keeps holding Clay’s hand until after they pay the bill and walk back out to Clay’s car.

The drive back to George’s house is full of laughter. Clay shares yet another near-death experience and George tells him about the time his 9 year old cousin stole fireworks from their neighbor. As Clay pulls into the driveway he looks over at George and grins.

“Before I go, I need to ask you something.”

“Okay,” Clay says. “I’m listening.”

“Are you my boyfriend? Because I really want you to be my boyfriend,” George says with a shy smile.

“I want to be your boyfriend too,” Clay says, laughing. He leans across the seat and kisses George firmly, his lips feeling familiar. Clay can’t help but feel like this is where he’s supposed to be.

When they break apart, both boys are smiling. 

“I had fun today,” George says.

“Me too. We’ll do this again soon okay?”

“Okay.”

Before George gets out he kisses Clay again, lingering for a moment before climbing out of the car and waving as Clay drives away, a blush on his cheeks and his heart full of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 updates in a day pog??? unfortunately updates will probably slow down bc of school but thank y'all for being patient :)


	13. Chapter 13

“Did you see Katie’s jeans today?” Hailey asks.

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about,” Clay laughs, hardly looking up from his computer where his homework sits on the screen. Hailey is sprawled across his bed scrolling through her phone, despite definitely also having homework that there was no way she had started.

“There’s more rip than jean,” she says, holding her phone out for Clay to look at. He doesn’t recognize the girl at all but she’s wearing pants that are ripped from mid-thigh all the way down to her calf. It looked like she had taken scissors and cut a straight line down the front of the pants. Clay laughs at Hailey’s comment and turns back to his computer.

On the table, his phone buzzes and he sees a notification from Nick. 

**since it’s coming out day, i just wanted to thank you for being there for me dude.**

Clay’s heart jumps into his throat.  _ It’s coming out day.  _ He checks the calendar and sure enough, it reads October 11th. 

**Of course! Thanks for being there for me too :)**

“Is everything okay?” Hailey asks. “You’ve gone all quiet.”

“It’s coming out day," he says slowly. "Since George and I are together I figure it’s time to at least tell Mom.”

“You don’t have to come out Clay,” Hailey says, suddenly serious. “Your identity… it belongs to you okay? You don’t owe anything to anyone, not even Mom.”

Her words hit him hard. There was a time where the idea of coming out of the closet was a horrifying concept. It was the same time where he still believed there was something wrong with him, and he still had hope that he could be fixed. 

He was stronger now. More brave, more sure. He wasn’t afraid of himself anymore. He wanted to let his mom know, not just because she was a parent. Not because he felt like he owed it to her. He wanted to tell her because he was ready to share this part of himself with her. A part of himself that he was finally proud of.

“I want her to know. I want everyone to know.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he says, surely. “I’m not ashamed of who I am. If people are going to know me, I want them to know all of me.”

Hailey has tears in her eyes and she smiles at him, pushing herself off the bed and hugging him tightly.

“I’m so fucking proud of you Clay,” she whispers, and he holds her tighter. He begins to laugh, his heart so full of giddy happiness and Hailey’s laughing too. He feels hot tears roll down his cheeks, but they’re happy tears. He’s come so far. So much has led to this moment. The moment where he’s finally ready. Ready to be himself.

“Mom I… I have a boyfriend.” His mother, who’s sitting on the couch, breaks into a smile.

“Oh honey, that’s wonderful!”

“It’s George,” Hailey blurts from behind him.

“Hey! I was going to tell her,” Clay says, pretending to be angry, but he throws his arm around her. She’s been there for him since the beginning, and he doesn’t know where he’d be without her.

“Sorry.”

Clay’s mother walks to them and takes both her children in her arms. 

“God I’m so proud of you. Both of you. I’ve loved watching you two grow up and see the people you’re becoming,” she pulls back and looks Clay in the eyes. “I want you to know that I love you, no matter what. You’ll always be my boy.”

Her eyes are welling up with tears and he feels a tug in his chest. Clay starts to cry again, and he rests his head on his mother’s shoulder, one arm around her, the other around Hailey.

He feels the absence of his dad, but pushes it away. It’s only bringing his mood down. Right now he has all the family he needs and he knows they love him.

“Thank you mom,” he whispers. “For everything.”

An hour later he posts on various social media platforms, saying nothing about George, but formally coming out as gay. His mom posts on Facebook, a picture of the two of them with a small pride flag that she had run out of the house to get.

Clay would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but there was a weight that lifted off his shoulders every time he clicked “post”. He felt braver, he wouldn’t have to hide himself anymore. He never needed to worry about if someone knew. He wouldn’t need to sneak George around like he was some secret to be kept. He finally felt like he had nothing to be ashamed of, because he knew he didn’t. There was nothing wrong with him, and he wanted to be himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i loved writing this chapter, i really love sweet family dynamics. i also wanna say to any lgbts out there, you are valid no matter what. you do not need to come out to be valid. coming out is a personal experience that is entirely up to you and whether you are out or not does not affect your worth. you are so loved no matter what :)  
> i hope y'all enjoyed, make sure you stay hydrated and take care of yourselves!!! i love y'all <3


	14. Chapter 14

“It’s right up here. And slow down, Jesus,” Clay says. Behind the wheel, George just laughs, but Clay can feel the car begin to slow down. Surprisingly, he doesn’t miss the turn and George drives into the large lot. Overhead there’s a neon sign blazing through the darkness of sunset.  **Riverside Drive-In** is written in red loopy cursive.

Clay hasn’t been to a drive-in movie in forever, and the last time he went was with Hailey when they were kids. They had gotten along until the end of the night when they were running around and he spilled her popcorn. She responded by pushing him down and he still recalls having to pick gravel out of his scraped knees.

“I’ve never been here,” George admits.

“Really? This was like… a classic for my family when I was a kid.”

“My parents preferred to stay in and show me nature documentaries.”

“That’s fair,” Clay says. “Hailey and I got in a fist fight over there. Maybe nature documentaries would’ve been a better idea.”

“God I will never get over the fact that you two hated each other that much. A fist fight? Really?”

Clay just laughs. “She won too, even though she was younger than me.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” 

“Hey!” Clay says, crossing his arms like an angry toddler.

“Aw did I hurt your feelings?” George mocks.

“I’m going to jump out of this car.”

“Considering I’m going like seven miles an hour, be my guest,” George says, but he presses a button on the dash that locks all the doors.

They park towards the side of the lot and Clay helps George set up. The trunk is open towards the screen and the seats are folded out of the way. They pile up pillows and blankets and George buys them both popcorn.

Clay can’t stretch out in the trunk, he’s far too tall, but he doesn’t mind the cramped space because George fits perfectly in his arms. George lays his head on Clay’s chest, his ear pressed against the other boy’s ribcage so that every word Clay says fills all of George’s senses.

Clay knows George wants him to keep talking, and he finds himself rambling, but he hasn’t felt this comfortable around someone else in a while, so he just lets the words keep spilling out. 

He tells George about the first football game he ever watched, how he and Hailey had been in awe. He sat next to his dad, who had one strong arm around Clay. Hailey had been sitting on his father’s lap as he explained all the rules. He tells George how his dad had always been so insistent on Clay playing football, though he would’ve joined a team anyway.

“Football was the only place I really felt like I belonged,” Clay says softly. “Then I met you.”

George sits up, turning over so he’s face to face with Clay. “Me?” he whispers.

“You made me feel safe. You were one of the first people I felt I could really be myself around without thinking there’s something wrong with me. You made me feel wanted. When I’m with you, I belong.”

George says nothing, but he cups Clay’s jaw and brings their lips together, hoping that the kiss can say everything that he can’t. He breaks away for only a moment to whisper against Clay’s cheek, “You make me belong too.”

Clay grins and pulls George back in, letting a hand run up and down George’s spine, the other resting on the back of his neck. George’s lips are soft and incredibly gentle. Clay shifts so George is lying on his chest again, and he wraps an arm around George’s waist, letting himself get lost. He knows he’s where he belongs.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” Clay says. He and George have packed up the car and George has just turned it on, ready to leave the movie.

“Everything okay?” George asks.

“Yeah,” he lies. He doesn’t want to worry George with Hailey’s text:  **dads home and yelling. u might want to stay out. im headed to lani’s.** His dad’s anger is something he’s been able to avoid recently and he would really like to continue that.

“I just want to stay with you a little longer,” Clay says, leaning over and kissing George softly.

“What do you want to do?”

“Let’s just drive,” Clay says.

George rolls down the windows but cranks the heat to chase away the night chill. They drive for a bit, George with one hand on the wheel and the other holding Clay’s. Eventually, it starts to drizzle and soon it’s a full on downpour. George pulls into an empty park, the rain and the darkness making it hard for him to drive.

Through George’s speakers, the song  _ Heroes  _ by David Bowie begins, and Clay grins an idea popping into his head. A stupid idea, but an irresistible one.

He turns the radio up and climbs out of the car into the pouring rain. 

“Where are you going?” George protests, but Clay laughs.

“Come on!” he beckons and George rolls his eyes but he has a smile on his face and he climbs out of the car, turning the radio up as high as it’ll go.

Overhead the rain is pouring down, soaking them both in a matter of seconds. There’s thunder rumbling in the distance, but the music is loud enough to almost cover it. Clay laughs and raises his arms to the sky, tilting his head back and letting the water droplets fall onto his face.

He glances over to George, who has his arms held out like he might just fly away. He has a look on his face of pure euphoria and Clay knows at that moment he’ll do anything for him. Anything he asked.

George looks over at him and Clay takes his hands, bringing their bodies together, and swaying to the song like they had done in George’s room. This time, George lets his hands travel shamelessly, one sliding up Clay’s back, tracing small circles. Clay leans down and kisses George again, and there’s hair sticking to his forehead and he’s not sure if it’s his or George’s. He smiles into the kiss, and then he’s laughing. There isn’t any particular reason, but at this moment he’s happy and he’s going to enjoy that to the fullest extent.

George is laughing too and Clay wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a hug letting the love in his heart warm them both. They stay like that, pressed together, swaying in the rain until the song fades out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /tw: homophobia, slurs

The end of the football season was always a bittersweet time of year, but this time it was especially sad. As Sam gave them instructions in the huddle Clay felt a pang in his chest, knowing this is the last time they’ll be on this field together.

Somewhere in the stands is George. Hailey’s there too and all her friends. Even though George never particularly liked football games, he had agreed to come to the last game and support not only Clay, but Sam too.

Clay lines up, his position matching the other team on the opposite side of the yard line. Nick is next to him and further down is the rest of his team. His second family. He digs his cleats into the turf, feeling the ground beneath him, finding his balance. He looks up and sees a member of the opposing team sneering at him.

“Number 7,” he reads from Clay’s jersey. “So you’re the faggot, huh?”

The word hits Clay right in the gut. Despite being proud of who he was, the slur still stings.

“What?” Clay asks, unsure if he’s more angry or surprised. He misses the whistle and by the time he’s back in the moment he can’t run, there’s nowhere for him to go. The other player runs straight into him, mowing him down. 

When he hits the ground he hears something snap, and it’s like he loses himself. He feels like he’s watching the scene as an outsider, with no control over his own body. He knows he’s screaming and the pain must be immense but for some reason, it feels like a dull ache in his lower leg.

Around him there are people talking, yelling, someone is crying, but they all sound far away. His coach is asking him questions but it’s like trying to hear through water and he can’t understand a single word. He thinks Nick is there too and Sam but he can’t be sure. His hearing is fading and he can hardly see. 

There is only a brief moment of clarity where he sees George, face panicked with tears running down his cheeks.

“Clay! Clay can you hear me?” he asks, trying to keep it together. He keeps repeating Clay’s name like a prayer or a lullaby.

“George?” he whispers, but then the crowd is parting and someone pulls George away from him.

He feels the paramedics lift him onto a stretcher and he’s still awake until they load him into the back of the ambulance, but once the drive begins one of the medics gives him a shot in his arm and he feels reality fade away.

When he wakes up in the hospital the pain is worse than it was when he was laying on the field. He groans as he shifts on the cot and blinks the sleep out of his eyes.

“What happened?” he asks.

“Someone tackled you. The doctor said you probably bruised your ribs and at least sprained your ankle, as well as a possible concussion,” Hailey replies. She’s sitting in the chair right next to his bed. “Mom’s at work right now. She visited last night but you were still asleep.”

“How long have I been out?”

“About fourteen hours. How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” he says and tries to laugh but it sends a sharp pain through his chest. Hailey laughs for him.

“George is here,” she says. “Do you want me to go get him?”

Clay replays the moment from the previous night, the way the other player looked at him as if he were nothing. The sting of the slur returns. 

Then he remembers the way George cried while he lay there on the field, repeating his name as if that could save him.

“Yeah. Can you get him?”

As soon as George sat down he began bombarding Clay with questions. How he felt, if it hurt, if he wanted to rest. Instead of answering Clay pulled George’s face to his and kissed him, the touch calming Clay's nerves.

“I’m feeling better already,” he says with a wink when they break apart. George smiles a little, but it’s strained. “Is everything okay?” Clay asks, concerned.

At that, George crumbles. Clay shifts over in the bed and lets George climb next to him, laying in his arms. George’s wet lashes brush Clay’s neck as he gently strokes George’s hair.

“I was so fucking scared,” George says softly. “When they took you away in that ambulance… I thought you were dying. I… I can’t lose you Clay.”

“It’s okay,” Clay whispers, wiping the tears off George’s face. “You aren’t going to lose me. I am always going to be here, okay? I promise George.”

George smiles, despite the tears rolling down his cheeks. He kisses Clay with a tenderness that makes his heart swell.

“When I got here I didn’t realize they’d knocked you out. I thought… I thought you were gone. I’ve never been scared like that. I…"

"I know, but I'm here now. I'm fine," Clay reassures.

"I know but... going through that, thinking I lost you... I realized something," George says.

"I love you Clay.”

Clay’s breath catches in his throat. _Love._ It was a strong word and one that he did not use lightly. He loved his family, even his dad as much as he hated admitting that. He loved his friends, but this romantic love was something he wasn’t familiar with. There was a time when he didn’t even know what love was, but it was different now. He felt it all around him all the time.

Love was when George spent time helping him with his Programming project. Love was George going to his football game, even though he didn’t enjoy crowds. Love was when he showed up to Waffle House and Hailey’s soccer game. Love was dancing in George’s room and in the rain. Love was him.

“I love you too George.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was the calm before the storm but I'm very excited for the next chapters.  
> all of y'all's kind comments mean so much to me :) i love you guys and i hope you are enjoying this story so far!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /tw: homophobia, slurs, yelling, fighting

Clay winces as he hears glass break downstairs. It’s been fifteen minutes since his dad came home from god knows where, and his parents have been fighting ever since. On his desk, his laptop is open to the video from the game. He’s been watching it nonstop since he left the hospital. It hasn’t helped him. He can see the way he freezes, caught off guard by the other player’s harsh words. He keeps hearing it, over and over in his head. _Faggot._

He still hasn’t told anyone, not even George. Especially not George. Clay’s been avoiding his calls, hoping if they don’t talk then George will never get a chance to find out what happened.

Clay had been so sure. He was happy, with himself, his confidence, his relationship. Then, everything he had spent years building up, all crumbled in seconds because of one word.

It’s only gotten worse. He’s pretty sure his parents are fighting about him. When he was in the hospital apparently his dad had come by while George was there. Clay hadn’t seen him and they hadn’t spoken since. Now he was home for the first time in what felt like weeks and he was shouting so loud it shook the house.

Clay shuts his laptop and thinks about calling George but the voice of the other player still rings in his ears. Despite knowing that George is going to be there for him no matter what, he can't bring himself to pick up the phone. He can't make the shame go away. He feels like he's back in middle school avoiding eye contact in the locker room and thinking there was something wrong with him.

At the door, someone knocks.

When he opens it, it’s only a crack, but when he sees Hailey on the other side, he steps aside letting her in. Her usual calm, confident demeanor is gone. She’s shaking; he’s never seen her get scared like this.

When he closes the door again he locks it, jumping at the sound of something else shattering against the linoleum. 

Hailey curls up on his bed and he tosses her a blanket, grabbing his speaker. He connects his phone and hands it to her.

“Play whatever you want and we can just chill okay?” he asks, hoping he can create some semblance of normalcy. 

He sits next to her, his back resting against the wall. She begins to play her One Direction playlist and she smiles a bit, which is good enough for him.

“Remember when we drove up to Atlanta to see them in concert?” he asks.

Hailey grins. “Yeah, you claimed you hated them back then but you were dancing the whole time.”

“I won’t deny they have good music.”

“Yeah, and you used to be in love with Harry Styles.”

He just hums in response. “Who wasn’t?”

“I was always more of a Louis girl myself.”

“Oh trust me,” he says. “I remember.”

“Remember when Mom let you drive part of the way back? That was great.”

“I almost got arrested Hails.”

“Yeah that was the best part.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” she says, her easy confidence back again, but it fades as quickly as it comes because they hear bits of the argument from downstairs.

“He’s your son!” Clay’s mother shouts.  
“He’s no son of mine!” his dad shouts back.

Clay grimaces, but Hailey just turns up the music.

“Remember that time I accidentally hit you with a croquet ball?”

“Accidentally,” he says, using his fingers to make air quotes.

“I swear it was an accident,” she says, but the smirk on her face shows that even if it wasn’t intentional, she definitely thought it was funny. “We were so excited to watch the Olympics and I wanted to try shot put. I told you to move out of the way and you were like ‘it’s okay Hailey, you won’t hit me’ and then I hit you.”

Clay laughs but it quickly turns into a wince, the ache in his chest still apparent, though according to his doctor the bruised ribs were healing nicely, and as long as his ankle healed he would be allowed to play football again, maybe soon enough for the spring season at the community center.

Hailey jumps as something else shatters and he scoots closer to her, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

“Remember when you broke your arm?” he asks. Hailey nods. She was only four and had fallen out of a tree. It was back when the two of them hated each other, but he still hated seeing her get hurt.

“You pushed me out of the tree and I was able to land because I was bigger than you. You jumped down after me and before I realized what happened you started screaming bloody murder. I didn’t know how to feel. We fought so much back then I was already mad at you for something, but when Mom drove you to the hospital I went with her and I stayed there with you all night because even though you were a colossal pain in my ass, I still loved you.”

Hailey smiles weakly. “I was always jealous of you then. You were older and got to do all the things I wanted to do but couldn’t. Plus, Dad adored you. He loved us both, but I always came second. That was why I was so angry with you all the time. I wanted to be treated the way you were.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Dad definitely loves you more now,” Clay says, wishing he could laugh it off, but every word hurt him to say. He heard the way his father had shouted. He was so sure about it. _He’s no son of mine._

His dad, the man who taught him to swim and ride a bike, the person who introduced him to football, which ended up being one of the few things he was actually good at, was discarding him like he was nothing. All those years, all the memories, they all meant nothing to him. Clay felt like he was nothing.

His dad had raised him, made him into the person he was, and now he was going to lose everything over something he couldn’t change about himself. Something he shouldn’t have to change. Something he should be proud of because there’s nothing wrong with him. The words of the other player come back to him and he feels a familiar shame rising in his chest. 

Downstairs he hears the front door slam. His dad is gone. Next to him, Clay feels Hailey relax. He takes a deep breath, trying to get rid of the words ringing in his ears.

“We’re gonna be okay, right?” Hailey asks, resting her head on Clay’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” he lies. As much as he hopes she’s right, he can’t rid his mind of the feeling of dread. He feels himself spiraling out of control but he has no idea how to stop. Instead of telling Hailey about what the other player had said, he gives her a reassuring smile, hoping that even if he can’t fool himself, it’s convincing enough for her.


	17. Chapter 17

“How do you write an argumentative essay?” Clay asks, staring at the blank document on his laptop.

“Fuck if I know,” George laughs.

The two of them are sitting in George’s room, Clay’s working on an essay for English while George runs through his coding another time, trying to make the program work. Hailey had warned Clay that Dad was at home and she had left the house before he could see her. She's at Tommy’s house now, and the last thing Clay needed was to be home with his dad.

He still hadn’t told George anything, not about the slurs or the fighting. Not about the growing self-hatred he was feeling. Part of him felt guilty about not telling George, that was what relationships were for, right? Support. But looking over at George now Clay knew he couldn’t tell him.  George was concentrating, his eyebrows furrowed and he was biting his lip. He looked so perfect at that moment, Clay couldn’t bring the mood down. He couldn’t ruin this day for George.  _ I’m doing this for him,  _ he reminds himself, even though he knows deep down that all he’s doing is sparing himself.

He tries his best to act like everything is fine, but George clearly notices something is off because he lingers when he hugs Clay goodbye. Clay almost avoids kissing him goodbye, but he has a sinking feeling that this might be the last time they’re together like this. 

The kiss feels like a goodbye, the last one for a long time, and Clay knows that George feels it too. Clay savors the tenderness of the moment, pulling George as close as he can. He doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to lose him, but when he leaves George’s house he feels like he’s in free fall, hurtling toward disaster at a hundred miles an hour with no way to stop.

He doesn’t crack until he leaves George’s, but once he’s left the neighborhood he immediately calls Nick. Everything that he’s been bottling up for the past few weeks is suddenly spilling over, and right now he really needs his best friend. 

Nick picks up after it rings twice. “Hey.”

“You’re not busy right?”

“No, why? Is everything okay?”

Clay falls silent, the truth is, he isn’t okay and he hasn’t been for a while. Hearing Nick ask makes his situation so much more evident and he almost hangs up, a sense of sudden panic threatening to overtake him. Instead, he takes a deep breath and starts talking. 

“My parents are fighting. It’s bad dude, they’ve fought before, but nothing like this. I…" he pauses. "I’m pretty sure it’s my fault, which makes it worse. I just don’t know what to do. My dad… he said I wasn’t his son anymore.”

“God, Clay I’m so sorry.”

“And at the game... the person who hurt me, they did it on purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before he tackled me, he called me a…” Clay trails off, he can’t even force himself to say it out loud. 

Nick is quiet but Clay can almost feel his anger through the phone. They’d known each other for so long that Clay knows exactly how Nick acts when he's angry. 

“He can get banned from the team for that if we bring it up with the school…” Nick starts, but Clay interrupts him

“No. I… I don’t need to get the school involved.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’ll be fine, okay? I’m just a little shaken, that’s all.”

“You know that their opinions don’t matter, right?" Nick tells him firmly. "There is nothing wrong with you, and it doesn’t matter what some stupid high schooler says. As for your dad, he removed himself from the picture a long time ago, his opinions don’t really matter either.”

Nick sounds so sure. He has the same confidence talking about sexuality that Clay used to have, and then lost in a matter of hours. Clay wants to believe him so badly, but the words of his father cut him deeper than anything else. His dad used to be his hero, now he was disowning his own son over a part of himself he had been so proud of. How was he supposed to come back from that?

As he pulls into his driveway, Clay clears his throat. “I’m home, can I call you later if I…”  _ If I need to,  _ he thinks to himself, which feels strange. He isn’t used to needing people, he’s always been fine on his own. In fact, he often was the person his friends came to when they needed someone to talk with, it was strange for the situation to be flipped.

“I’ll be here, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, for everything.”

“Of course.”

Clay climbs out of the car and walks to the front door. The house is eerily quiet and his stomach drops. He almost turns around right then and leaves, but when he turns back to the driveway he sees a car pull up and Hailey climb out.

“I thought you were spending the night with Lani,” Clay says as she walks up the driveway.

“I was gonna, but then Mom texted.”

“What?” Clay asks, pulling out his phone. Sure enough, there’s a notification.

**Mom: hey honey, I need you to come home.**

Something’s wrong, he can feel it, but seeing the fear in Hailey’s eyes he takes a deep breath and tries to be brave, if not for himself then for her. He takes her hand and the two of them step into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the cliffhanger :)   
> (but not really)  
> i hope you guys are still enjoying this!! remember to take care of yourselves, whatever that means for you. take a few minutes to listen to a good song or read a book or just take some deep breaths. you are doing great i promise <3  
> k love y'all !!


	18. Chapter 18

“Hey Mom,” Clay says when he and Hailey walk into the living room. His mother is sitting on the couch, deep bags under her eyes. His dad is nowhere in sight. Despite her disheveled appearance, he smiles warmly at her children when they enter the room. Clay can feel her love from across the room, and he and Hailey sit beside her on the couch.

“Is everything okay?” Hailey asks, softly. Their mom says nothing and takes a shaky breath.

“Your father and I are getting a divorce,” she pauses. “I’m so sorry, I know he’s your family too.” She pulls Clay and Hailey into her arms, holding them tightly.

He should’ve seen this coming. The fighting, the sad atmosphere of his house for nearly a month. His dad being pointedly absent at any important moment.

Even though his father’s words hurt him worse than anything else, Clay can’t help but miss him and hope that this might not be the end for their family. When his mother begins to cry, he knows he’s wrong. This is it.

He rests his head on her shoulder and holds Hailey’s hand. His sister hasn’t cried yet and when he looks at her it’s as if she’s a million miles away. Her eyes are empty and unfocused, but she squeezes his hand so hard it goes numb.

“He’ll be back later today to pick up the rest of his things.”

“We don’t have to be here, right?” Clay asks. His mother shakes her head. He’s grateful that he won’t need to face his dad, but still feels apprehensive about leaving his mother home alone.

“You don’t need to see him if you don’t want to, alright?” she says, looking him in the eyes. Even now, she’s still trying to protect him. 

“I love you Mom,” he whispers, and she smiles at him through her tears.

“I love you too.”

Three hours later Clay and Hailey leave the house right before their dad arrives to remove the rest of his belongings. The house hadn’t been his father’s home for a long time, so taking all his possessions somewhere else wouldn’t make a difference in the atmosphere of Clay’s home. Hopefully, it will make everything better. Without his dad’s presence making him doubt himself Clay can finally start to heal.

Clay and Hailey drive in silence, and there’s no discussion about where they’re going. When they pull into the parking lot at the soccer fields, Hailey climbs out of the car and grabs her bag from the trunk.

She pulls on her cleats and Clay carries a bag with soccer balls. They set up the field wordlessly, Hailey standing near the goal. She still has that far away look in her eyes, but Clay says nothing and stands at midfield, watching her practice.

Her first few shots are a little shaky. It reminds him of back when she was first learning to play and wasn’t strong enough to shoot a proper goal with good technique, so instead she would kick the ball with all the energy she could muster and pray it went in the right direction.

She held back for the first few shots, but with every goal she missed he could see her anger rising, each shot messier than the one before. She takes out her frustration in the only way she knows how. She kicks the last ball with such force that it sails over the net and into the woods behind the fields.

She collapses onto the turf and lets out a scream that will haunt him forever. Clay’s used to hearing her laugh and seeing her confident smiles. He’s never heard her sound so broken.

He’s pretty sure she’s never cried in front of him before, but she isn’t holding anything back now. He kneels next to her and pulls her into his arms. He lets her break down, and at some point, he starts crying too.

_ This is my fault.  _

He hates his dad for walking out right when they needed him. He hates his dad for discarding him like he was nothing more than garbage. But most of all, he hates himself. He hates himself for ruining his parent's marriage, for thinking he could ever be himself. He hates himself for thinking he could ever make George happy.

All he does is ruin everything. It’s only a matter of time until he ruins George too. If he ever hurt George in the way his dad hurt his mom, Clay could never forgive himself for something like that. Never.

The only possible solution was to let go. He had to let George go. Then he’d be free to go to MIT. He’d be free to find someone who deserved him.

As much as Clay hates it, he knows what he has to do.


	19. Chapter 19

When Clay pulls into George’s driveway, he almost turns around and leaves. He dreads everything that’s about to happen and the only thing that propels him forwards and forces him to ring the doorbell is the reminder that it’s for the best. He’s doing this for George’s sake. 

There are only two weeks left until decision day for MIT’s spring semester. Two weeks for George to decide his future and it was Clay’s job to make sure he wasn’t in the way. George needed to do what was best for him, even if that meant leaving Clay.

_ This has to be done. _

When George opens the door, he breaks into a smile and Clay nearly bursts into tears. He hates thinking this is the last time he’ll see George smile like this. For a moment, Clay wishes everything could go back to the way it was. He wishes his parents hadn’t gotten a divorce. He wishes that player hadn’t called him a slur. He even wishes that George wasn’t going away, and then he curses himself for being so selfish.

“Do you want to come in?” George asks.

“No.” If he goes inside, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to go through with it.

“Oh,” George’s smile fades. “Is everything okay?”

“My parents are actually getting divorced.”

George is silent for a moment, surprised. “I’m sorry Clay.”

“I… George, I think… maybe this… us,” he gestures between them, “might be…” he falls silent.

“Are you breaking up with me?” George asks, his voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… My parents were so close and now everything’s messed up. Plus, you’re leaving…”

“I’ll stay,” George interrupts.

“No…”

“I’ll stay,” he says firmly. “I’ll stay for you.”

Clay feels tears welling up in his eyes, and all he wants is to accept George’s offer, but he can’t be the reason George throws away an opportunity like this.

“No. MIT is your dream George!”

“You’re my dream.”

“What?”

“MIT’s just a school Clay. You… ever since the first day I saw you, all I wanted was to be with you. Being with you was my dream. You’re my dream.”

Clay is at a loss for words. He wants to tell George he loves him. He wants to take him into his arms and have George rest his hand on his chest. 

But he knows that MIT isn’t “just a school”, it’s prestigious and it’s going to help George.  Clay’s watched him code. George understands machinery in a way that no one else could and when he was working, he practically glowed in the dark. His talent was one in a million and there was no way Clay could prevent him from attending a university that could allow him to share his talent with the world.

“George… this was going to happen eventually. You were always going to leave, and I won’t be the reason you miss out on MIT.”

“Even if I went, we could keep in touch,” George suggests, but his voice is frail. He knows it can’t work.

“George, I love you…”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you clearly don’t mean it,” he snaps.

“I do,” Clay swears, but George won’t even meet his eye. “George I watched my parents fall out of love. I watched their marriage crumble. I saw the way it destroyed them both. I won’t have that happen to us.”

“So this is just... it?” George asks and when he looks at Clay he’s crying.

“It has to be.”

“Then leave.”

All the air is stolen from Clay’s lungs. “What?”

“Please Clay, just leave.”

He hears George sob before the door slams shut. Clay runs to his car, hoping to make it inside before he shatters.

As the door closes, he starts to cry, but holds back as he turns on the car. He drives all the way out of George’s neighborhood before parking on the side of some small street and letting himself break down.

He can’t stop replaying the way George offered to stay and then the way he asked him to leave. As he cries, it starts about losing George, but it evolves into finally processing everything from the past few weeks.

He cries over the way George sounded as he closed the door. As the image of the other player sneering at him right before the whistle sounded, Clay cries, finally letting himself think about it. The word hurt him, and that’s okay. He’s allowed to get hurt, that doesn’t make him weak.

Tears stream down his face as he thinks about the time his father had taken him to an NFL game and carried him out of the stadium on his shoulders. He remembers being six years old and standing on his father’s feet and laughing as he walked through the house, lifting Clay with one arm. He misses his dad, and he’s pretty sure that’s a feeling that will never truly leave him.

He misses George too. He misses his laugh. He misses the way George looked that night at the drive in, his hair windswept and his eyes sparkling. He misses the way George touched him, the way he kissed him, how he made Clay feel like he was loved and wanted. He misses him more than anything.

_ God I fucked up. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cried while writing this, which is something I've never done before but this hurt my heart :(  
> don't worry though, the story is not over!! there is still hope for our boys   
> i know this was a sad chapter so i wanna make sure that y'all take care of yourselves. read something happy or dance to a happy song. make sure you drink water too :)  
> thank you for all of your support!! i love you all <3


	20. Chapter 20

Clay is alone. He can’t sleep, he’s been lying awake for hours, and he’s never felt so alone. As his mind wanders he tries to control his racing thoughts, forcing himself to think of school or football, but in the end, he thinks of George. It’s always George.

He misses him. If he concentrates, he can almost feel George’s hands on him, nimble fingers running up and down his spine. George’s laugh still rings in his ears and sometimes when he’s unprepared, he’ll see a flash of George’s smile and he won’t be able to breathe. He misses George so much his chest hurts.

_ God I fucked up. _

There’s a part of him that wants to turn back time, back to when he was standing on George’s doorstep. Back to when George asked him to stay. That part of him wants to undo everything that came after, fix all his mistakes, but the rational part of him knows he did the right thing. 

As much as he misses George, Clay is still so proud of him. MIT was something that seemed forever out of reach, but George made it look easy. Clay often reminds himself of the way George’s eyes lit up when he talked about university, and it offered the tiniest bit of solace.  _ This was the right thing,  _ he tells himself, but it still feels wrong.

Clay seems to float through his life. He goes to school and though he tries, he still falls behind and can’t bring himself to care enough to catch up. He hangs out with Hailey, but there’s a distance between them that wasn’t there before, which Clay thinks might be the worst part of all. 

He’s been going to physical therapy, and his ankle (luckily only sprained) begins to heal. His ribs get better every day and he’s pretty sure he’ll be able to laugh now without feeling pain, the only problem is nothing seems to make him happy.

There’s a point in time where Clay wonders if he’ll return to football at all. It’s during physical therapy and he’s trying to work on balance and he remembers how when he made it onto the varsity team as a freshman, his father had helped him train outside of practice. For one of the drills, his dad would throw him the ball and Clay would have to stand on the yard line, perfectly balanced as he caught it.

Football was something that was always so connected to his father and their relationship. He hadn’t seen his dad in weeks and in that time he had started to doubt football. The one thing that really made him want to return was his team, and Nick reminding him that football doesn’t belong to his father. It’s something that Clay enjoys and he won’t let his dad take that away from him.

Nick had been a stabilizing force in Clay’s life for the last few weeks. The first person he’d told after the breakup had been Nick, but all he’d said was that they had broken up. He still hadn’t told him why, or that he was the one who broke up with George. It seemed like Clay was keeping so many secrets, but he didn’t know how to let them out.

Nick hadn’t pushed him, and instead shared events from his own life, most prominently his relationship with Karl. They’d both worked through their own issues, supporting each other as much as they could, and in the end, Karl asked him out. Clay tries to be happy for them, he really does, but every time he sees them together it feels like he’s being stabbed through the heart. He just can’t feel happy for them when all he can think about is how much he misses George. How he wishes he could still hold him like that.

The weight of missing him permeates every atmosphere of Clay's life. His grades are suffering, but his mother doesn’t push him. She knows the divorce is bad enough, and she knows about the breakup. He’s behind in half his classes and is hanging on by a thread in all the others. 

He nearly drops Programming. As the semester continued, the class only got more difficult and now he doesn’t even have George to help him. He tries to pay attention in class but his focus is short, and it doesn’t help that the teacher is still horrible at teaching.

When another big project comes up he actually considers turning in nothing. He has to use javascript which he’s entirely unfamiliar with. Clay knows he can’t ask George, no matter how badly he might want to.

He decides to ask Sam for help instead, which he actually is excited about. He hasn’t been able to see Sam much since the season ended for football. Even though he technically has another semester with him, Sam isn’t in any of his classes and Clay will take any opportunity to spend time with him.

Clay was the only freshman to make it onto the varsity team, and he’d been nervous before their first practice. Once they got on the field and the team got to see how skilled he was, Sam decided to take him in. Sam was the first person on the team who made Clay feel welcomed there.  When George told Clay about the first time he saw him, he mentioned how Sam had raved to him about how good he thought Clay was going to be. Sam always believed in Clay even when no one else did. He’d be able to help. Clay was sure of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a bit of a filler chapter but i wanted to write a bit about everything going on in clay's head. i will try and update again very soon, i hope you are all enjoying this! i love y'all <3


	21. Chapter 21

“Thanks for doing this,” Clay says as Sam sits across from him. “I know you probably have a lot going on.”

“It’s alright. I’ve missed seeing you.”

Clay only gets to see him briefly in the mornings. He used to arrive early to school and sit in Nick’s car in the parking lot before the bell rang. Now Clay has to force himself to get out of bed every morning and barely makes it to class on time.

“How have you been?” Sam asks softly, and just through his tone Clay knows he means the breakup.

“Not great,” he admits. It’s the first time he’s actually told someone that.

“I’m sorry man, I know that must be really hard.”

Losing George was certainly one of the more difficult things he’s had to do, and the fact that he was the one who broke things off makes it even worse.

“How is he?” Clay asks.

“Well… he’s always been pretty reserved so I can’t tell you everything he’s been thinking. I’ve only mentioned you once, it was sort of an accident. I was telling a story and your name came up and he froze, but said nothing. When I asked, he said he misses you but he’ll be okay.”

“I hope he’s doing well.”

“There’s something you should probably know,” Sam says softly, like he's trying to let Clay down slowly.

“What?”

“He… he’s accepted the offer. He’ll be at MIT in two weeks.”

Even though this was exactly what Clay wanted, he still winces. He knows this is what’s right for George, for his future. He did this because he loves him, but when he starts to cry he lets the tears fall. Sam puts an arm around him and lets Clay rest his head on his shoulder, rubbing calming circles onto Clay’s arm.

“I’m so sorry Clay.”

“It’s alright,” he says, wiping his nose on his sleeve. He takes a deep breath and then turns to his laptop and sets it in front of Sam. “You want to start working on this?”

After Sam leaves, Clay almost goes to sleep, but he knows he can’t keep running away from the people he loves. The first person he calls is Nick, who picks up almost immediately.

“Hey.”

“George accepted it, he’s going to college in two weeks.”

“I’m sorry Clay,” Nick says softly.

“This is what I wanted. I broke up with him because I knew his future was more important, but I feel like I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me,” Clay rambles, tears dripping down his face.

“You did it because you love him.”

“Yes,” Clay says. “I love him, and I knew that MIT was what’s best for him.”

“You did what you thought was right, even if it meant giving up someone you love. That requires so much courage. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to miss him. You’re allowed to feel bad, you’re allowed to regret it.”

“I just lost him forever, didn’t I?” Clay asks, the reality of his situation suddenly crashing down on him like a wave.

“Maybe,” Nick admits. “But don’t give up hope entirely, okay? This doesn’t have to be the end.”

“What should I do?”

“I’m gonna be honest here man, you should probably do nothing. Not to sound harsh, but you broke his heart. That isn’t something he can just bounce back from. Wait for him to come to you, okay?”

“Do you think he will?” Clay asks, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“He loves you.”

His conversation with Nick lasts a little longer, and Clay listens to him talk about Karl who sounds fantastic. Clay hopes he’ll be able to spend more time with him, maybe he could even learn to skateboard.

After getting off the phone, he knocks gently on Hailey’s door. He hears a “come in” from inside, and he turns the doorknob, stepping into her room.

She’s in the process of redecorating, so her room is in a constant state of disarray. One wall is covered from floor to ceiling in pictures, another is covered in spray paint from her and her friends. How their mother allowed that, Clay would never know.

Her bed is unmade and she’s lying on top, a blanket covering her legs as she lies on her stomach scrolling through her phone. She smiles when she sees him come in, and he actually smiles back. It feels foreign, but good.

“Hey,” she says, shifting over on the bed and allowing him to sit down next to her.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” he asks, jumping straight to the point.

“That depends, you make quite a few mistakes. What about?”

“George.”

“Letting him get away? I guess it depends on why you let him go,” she says.

“He got into MIT and I knew he had to go. He would’ve stayed if I hadn’t… you know.”

“Well, in that case, I don’t think it was a mistake at all. You did it because you wanted what was best for him. Sure, I’ll miss him and I know you do too, but it’s not like he died or some shit, he’ll come back. He still lives here you know,” she reminds.

“This isn’t the end. It can’t be, right?”

Hailey takes his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “It doesn’t have to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yeah i cranked this shit out in like an hour  
> anyways,,,, last update for the night but i am Very Excited about the next couple of chapters so stay tuned :))  
> take care of yourselves my lovelies <3


	22. Chapter 22

Clay stares at his math homework, something about trigonometry, but he has no clue what he’s supposed to be doing. He’s been sitting at his desk for nearly an hour and has almost fallen asleep multiple times. He can’t focus on homework or school or really anything because George is leaving tomorrow.

He tries not to dwell on it, hoping if he avoids it maybe he’ll be able to finish his homework and then go straight to bed. He doesn’t know what else he can do except wait for George to leave and for the pain to finally go away.

He’s hardly seen George in weeks, avoiding him at all costs. Clay doesn’t know how George is taking it, whether he shows up to school with bags under his eyes or if he’s as well put together as always and Clay’s not sure which one would hurt him more. Even though he wants George to be okay, he knows that seeing George thrive without him would cut like a knife. It seemed best to stay away.

Clay turns back to his worksheet. The letters seem to swim together on the page, but after rereading the directions at least five times, he finally begins the first problem. It feels good to be doing something, even if he’s not very confident in it. He’s been procrastinating and skipping class for weeks now, but with each missing assignment he completes he’s a step closer to getting back on track.

On the desk next to him, his phone vibrates and when he reads the notification his heart nearly jumps out of his chest. It’s a text, and it’s from George.

**George: can we talk?**

Clay’s hands shake as he picks up his phone and opens the notification. For a moment, he actually considers saying nothing. Is he ready to see George again? Even if he isn’t totally prepared, he owes George this much. Nick was right. Clay broke his heart and if talking to him had any chance of helping him, Clay had to at least try.

**Clay: yeah sure**

When he hits send, a wave of nausea runs through him. He can’t remember the last time he felt this nervous.

**George: meet me at the park in 10 minutes**

Clay types out a shaky reply, agreeing to meet George at the same park where they had danced together all those weeks ago. He hurries around his room, changing his clothes into something nicer than just sweatpants and a t-shirt. He grabs his keys and heads out the door, poking his head into Hailey’s room before he goes.

“I’m going to see George,” he tells her, and she gasps, breaking into a huge grin. “He wants to talk to me, so can you tell Mom where I’ve gone?”

“Of course. Good luck,” she says, giving him a thumbs up. He rolls his eyes but grins at her before heading out to the driveway where his car is parked.

Clay arrives at the park a few minutes later and finds that the parking lot is almost empty, but he sees George’s car parked under a tree. He parks across from it and notices that George isn’t in his car, but when Clay gets out he sees George sitting on a bench near the playground.

George stands up as Clay approaches and offers a small smile. George looks incredible, his hair swept to the side, his face glowing in the light of the setting sun. As Clay gets closer it gets harder to breathe.

“You wanted to talk?” Clay asks, surprised his voice is working.

“Yeah thank you for coming here.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Well… I’ve been thinking a lot and… I couldn’t leave without telling you everything I’m feeling, or at least saying goodbye.”

George takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

“Sam told me what you said. Hearing your side of the story… I know why you did it. You put my needs before yours, you did what you thought was right for me even though you knew it was going to end up hurting you. You did it because you loved me. A love like that… it’s rare. You put me before yourself and I realized that MIT is the right path for me.”

As much as Clay knows George is right, it hurts him to hear George say it. It also makes everything so much more real. It finally hits Clay that George is leaving. Before he really has time to process, George continues.

“But I’ve also been thinking about you. Clay… you’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You helped me realize that MIT was my dream, but you’re my dream too. I don’t have to choose one or the other. I don’t want to have to choose. I want to try again, if you want to.”

“Really?” Clay asks, tears welling up in his eyes, his chest swelling with hope.

“Yes,” George says, smiling at Clay for the first time in months.

“We can make long distance work, I know we can,” Clay says.

“You were willing to give up something you loved… for me. I won’t lose you. I want to try again.”

Clay breaks into a grin, and he feels tears begin to run down his face, but this time it’s because of joy.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “If I hurt you, that was never my intention. I just… I just want to make you feel better.”

George smiles, and reaches for Clay, hesitating for a moment. It’s been so long since they’ve even seen each other, much less touched. Before he loses his nerve, Clay grabs George by the front of his sweater and kisses George firmly. It feels like coming home. Clay’s heart nearly bursts and he smiles and they break apart.

“I feel better already,” George whispers, and then he leans back in.

They stand together in each other’s arms. George’s lips are soft as ever and his face fits perfectly into Clay’s hands. George doesn’t even mention the fact that Clay is crying, and he’s pretty sure George starts crying too, their tears mixing together, but he isn’t the slightest bit sad.

Clay wishes he’d realized sooner that he doesn’t have to choose. The whole point of relationships is to compromise, find ways to make both people happy. George didn’t have to choose MIT or Clay, he can have both, if only they work together.

“I love you George,” Clay says firmly. George laughs softly and it’s the best sound Clay’s heard in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i loved writing this!!! it's a lil bittersweet bc this story is almost over :(   
> i hope y'all are still enjoying this, have a lovely day and take care of yourselves babes <3


	23. Chapter 23

Clay wishes they had more time together. Today is George’s last day, his flight for Cambridge leaves at five, and Clay wants to spend every second he has left with him. He can’t help but feel like they’ve wasted so much time, but he tries not to dwell on the past. The most important thing is making the most of the time he does have.

Clay and Hailey pick George up from his house around noon. They decided not to tell George what their plans were, both siblings agreeing it would be far more fun if it were a surprise. 

As George walks out of his house, Hailey wordlessly gets out of the passenger seat and sits in the back. George grins as he gets into the car and leans over to kiss Clay as a greeting. Clay still leans into it and savors the moment, unsure how many more they’ll get to have like this before George leaves.

The three of them drive for a few minutes and Hailey plays her music, which includes plenty of One Direction. They laugh and sing and even roll the windows down for a little bit despite the cold.

When they pull into the parking lot at the soccer fields, the fields are empty. George looks at Clay, one eyebrow raised. 

“I’ve never played soccer before. Like ever.”

Clay just grins. “There’s a first time for everything,” he says, kissing George once more before getting out of the car.

Hailey pulls a large bag of soccer balls out of the trunk and carries them onto the nearest field, along with her cleats. Clay didn’t bother bringing any special shoes and he hasn’t played soccer in a while but he already knows Hailey could beat him regardless. Besides, he’s here for George.

“Have you ever watched a soccer game?” Clay asks George as they approach Hailey.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well, that’s a start. You know the basics, we can teach you from there.”

George looks skeptical, but when Clay takes his hand he breaks into a grin. Clay mirrors his smile, and with Hailey’s help, they begin teaching George the basics. Even though he stumbles more than a few times and doesn’t fully get the hang of anything, George is laughing and to Clay, that’s the only thing that matters.

Hailey takes over teaching pretty early on; Clay doesn’t mind though, she’s way better than him anyway. He loves watching the two of them crack jokes and swap stories like they’ve known each other forever. Hailey and George are two of his favorite people, and he loves seeing the two of them work so well together. It makes him hopeful for the future.

It also feels a little strange to be back at the fields. The last time Clay was here, he and Hailey broke down on the field. It was the day their dad left for good. Clay still hadn’t seen him since, and it was getting easier every day. At first, it hadn’t really dawned on him how permanent it all was, but waking up every morning and not seeing his dad on the couch watching the morning news was a constant reminder of what was supposed to be there.

He doubts he’ll ever actually stop loving or missing his dad, no matter how terribly Clay had been treated by him. Still, each day without him was easier than the one before, and having George and Hailey and all his friends made it easier.

On the field, Hailey is teaching George how to shoot a goal and he’s performing much like Hailey used to, back before she knew what she was doing. She’s trying to be encouraging but laughs at him anyways. He’s laughing along with her and doesn’t get discouraged. Hailey turns to Clay.

“You wanna have a competition to see who can score more goals in a minute?” Hailey asks him.

“What, so you can just beat me? No thanks,” Clay laughs.

“What, you don’t want me to beat you in front of your boyfriend?”

“Not particularly,” Clay says, and George blushes a bit when Hailey says the word “boyfriend.” Clay reaches out and cups George’s jaw in his hand, brushing his thumb over George’s flushed cheeks. “You’re cute when you blush,” he says, which only makes him blush harder.

Hailey pretends to throw up, and then turns away from them and shoots a few more goals, each one effortless. She somehow manages to look graceful as she practices. Clay doesn’t even want to think about what he looks like when he’s concentrating during football games.

George huddles next to Clay, shivering a little. Clay isn’t surprised since it’s actually pretty cold. He wraps his arms around George and rests his chin atop George’s head. Clay feels an overwhelming sense of longing in his chest, and his eyes well up with tears, though he blinks them away before they fall. 

He loves having George in his arms, and he doesn’t know how long it’s going to be until he gets to see George in person once he leaves. He doesn’t know when he’ll get to hold him again.

The two of them stand in each other’s arms for a few minutes longer while Hailey finishes up, but eventually, she gets cold too and they all decide to leave.

“You want to come back to my place?” George asks as they all walk to the car.

“Sure,” Clay replies, one arm still wrapped around George.

“As fun as that sounds, I’d rather hang out with my friends than third wheel. Could you drop me off at Tommy’s?” Hailey asks, throwing the soccer balls into the trunk.

Clay rolls his eyes but says, “sure, it’s on the way.”

When they all climb into the car, Clay takes George’s hand and doesn’t let go, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other resting on George’s lap.

They stop briefly and get lunch, though it’s more like an afternoon snack, before stopping and Tommy and Wilbur’s. Hailey hugs George goodbye and waves from the porch as they drive away.

When they get to George’s, his parents are in the kitchen and they wave to both boys as they enter. George’s bedroom is pretty much empty, most of his things already packed away in boxes being shipped to MIT. Even his PC is gone, and his desk is empty. The one thing that Clay notices hasn’t been packed away is George’s record player, which is still on its shelf by the window.

Clay lays on George’s bed and wraps himself in a fluffy blanket, hoping to regain some semblance of feeling in his fingers. George puts on a record and then lies next to Clay wrapping his arms around his waist. Clay smiles into George’s hair and pulls him closer, wrapping the blanket around them both.

Once he can actually feel his fingers again, Clay traces the line of George’s jaw, lifting his chin so their eyes meet. George still has that spark of intelligence and his lips are slightly parted in wonder as he stares up at Clay, who leans down and gently connects their lips.

Clay loves kissing George. There’s something wild and free about it, like waves in the open ocean. He loves when George will gasp softly as Clay’s fingers slip under his shirt, or how George squeezes his biceps, trying to keep him as close as possible. Clay loves losing himself in the feeling, where he knows he doesn’t need to be anyone else. When he’s with George he knows that he alone is enough.

They lay together until the record ends, and George glances at his watch. Clay sees the time and a jolt of sadness runs through him. This is it.

George untangles himself from Clay and takes the record off the turntable, returning it to its sleeve. He pulls a different record out and presses play. The room fills with familiar instruments and the voice of Louis Armstrong floats from the speakers.

George turns to Clay and extends his hands, pulling Clay up. Clay takes George into his arms and they sway together to the music. Dancing together seems to come as easily as breathing and Clay can’t help but feel like George belongs in his arms.

The song is over far too soon and George stops the record. When he turns back around he has tears in his eyes. Clay pulls George back into a tight hug, and holds him, praying this isn’t the last time.

The drive to the airport is quiet. George’s parents drive them and the two boys sit in the back seat, Clay holding George’s hand wishing he never had to let go. George’s parents will be flying with him and helping him move in, so this wasn’t a goodbye for them. Clay longs to go with them, but he knows he can’t. Clay has his own responsibilities.

Clay helps carry George’s bags to the gate and when they arrive the flight is already boarding. George’s parents hand him his ticket and wave goodbye to Clay before getting in line, leaving the two boys to say goodbye.

This time, when the tears come, Clay doesn’t even try to hold them back. He takes George into his arms again and repeats in his head that it isn’t the last time. He’ll see him again, and this long distance thing is going to work out. Clay repeats both phrases in his head, hoping if he says it enough it’ll be true.

“I love you George,” he chokes out.

“I love you too Clay,” George replies. Even though they’re in the middle of the airport and surrounded by people, Clay still kisses George. He knows he’ll regret it if he doesn’t.

Clay can’t even manage to say goodbye, because it feels too permanent. Instead, he just tells George he loves him again and again, until the final call for boarding is announced and George finally walks away.

Clay sits by the window for an hour until the plane pulls away from the gate and rolls down the runway and out of sight, reminding himself the entire time that this isn’t the end. He’ll see George again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres only one chapter left :(  
> i hope y'all liked this chapter even if it was a lil sad  
> remember to take care of yourselves lovelies <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a time skip, so just be prepared  
> also this chapter reminds me of the song new year's day by taylor swift  
> this is the last chapter, hope you enjoy!!

“Where are we even going?” Clay asks. He stumbles over something as Hailey drags him by his wrist but he’s blindfolded and has no clue what it was. She doesn’t even bother to slow down and continues pulling him in some unknown direction.

“You’ll see.”

“Is it close? My feet hurt.”

“Do you ever stop complaining?” Hailey asks sarcastically, and Clay flips her off, hoping he’s facing the right direction.

The two siblings walk for a little longer before coming to an abrupt halt. Clay nearly runs into Hailey and takes a moment to gather his bearings.

“You can look now,” Hailey says.

Clay unties the blindfold, which is actually just an old t-shirt, and squints as he opens his eyes, not used to the bright sunlight. He looks around and quickly realizes he’s standing in the field at the park. The same park where he and George had danced all those months ago, and the park where he and George had gotten back together.

Standing in front of him, is a familiar face.

“George?” he asks quietly, part of him wondering if this is all real. It’s been months since Clay has seen George in person. In front of him, George breaks into a grin. 

“Miss me?”

Clay lets out a sob as he throws himself into George’s open arms. He can’t breathe, and his senses are full of George. He almost forgot what it felt like to hold George, but now he never wants to let him go.

“How…? I thought you had school,” Clay says laughing, even though tears are streaming down his face.

“I was thinking about what you said. I’ve never been to a school dance and it’s prom weekend. I wanted to take you… as my date.”

“Of course,” Clay says, smiling through his tears. He takes that moment to look at George, really look at him. During the time they were apart they had FaceTimed, but seeing George in person was so different. Clay runs his thumbs over the swoop of George’s cheekbones, memorizing the placement of every freckle. 

Finally, after waiting for months to see George again, Clay leans in and kisses him, softly at first but leaning into it. He’s missed this, he’s missed George. He decides at that moment, this is the best surprise he’s ever received.

Two days later, Clay is nervously knocking at George’s door. He hasn’t dressed this formal… ever. Surprisingly, his mother had been more than happy to help him find a tux with a two day notice.

When the door opens, George smiles. He blushes when he sees Clay, and Clay knows he’s in the exact same boat. George is wearing a navy suit and Clay can hardly breathe.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, and this time George doesn’t deny it.

“So are you,” George says, taking Clay’s hand and kissing him quickly before Clay leads him to the car. As they drive, Clay keeps one hand on the wheel and the other is still holding George’s. He squeezes his hand three times and smiles at him as they pull into the parking lot of the high school.

“I never thought I’d be back here,” George says, looking at the entrance to the gym.

“I wish I didn’t have to come back here,” Clay laughs. “I bet MIT is way better than high school.”

“It’s amazing,” George gushes. “I get to take a bunch of interesting classes and meet new people. The only downside is being far away from you.”

Clay laughs a little and squeezes George’s hand again. George leads the way to the gym, waving at friends he hadn’t seen in months. George continues to hold Clay’s hand, only letting go to briefly hug Sam. Clay hugs him too and congratulates him on being nominated for Prom King. Clay can’t think of anyone more deserving of the title.

They all linger in the lobby for a few minutes, everyone catching up on one another’s lives. Eventually, their group that now consists of Clay, George, Sam, Wilbur, and Niki, all make their way to the dance floor.

Clay discards his jacket pretty early on, and after a while, his tie’s gone too and his sleeves have been rolled up to his elbows. Despite feeling the light-headed feeling and the ringing in his ears, he’s having an incredible time and is overjoyed to see that George is enjoying himself too. 

Crowds of any kind are way out of George’s comfort zone. In fact, Clay’s surprised he agreed to come at all, but George looks right at home as he sings along to whatever song is playing and twirls Niki, her pink hair flying as she twirls around laughing. Clay jumps in time with the beat of the song and holds George’s hand as they dance.

There’s a break in the middle of the dance where the principal gets on the stage and announces Prom King and Queen. When the lights turn on and the music fades out, Clay and George push to the front of the crowd, everyone gathering in front of the makeshift stage.

As the nominees are announced, Clay and George each hold one of Sam’s hands. Clay says it’s for luck, but he doubts Sam will need it. 

Sure enough, when Prom King is announced, Sam is called onto the stage and presented with a crown. Prom Queen is a senior named Becca, who is given a jeweled tiara.

The crowd parts and allows the King and Queen to make their way to the center of the floor where they begin the only slow dance of the evening. As they dance, Clay notices that Becca’s heels make her taller than Sam, which is a rarity, and the two of them are laughing the whole time. 

As the song picks up, other couples begin to fill the floor as well, including Nick and Karl who are grinning at each other like idiots. Clay takes George’s hand and leads him onto the floor as well.

They face each other and Clay’s hands rest on George’s shoulders, while George’s hands wrap around his waist. George rests his head on Clay’s chest, his ear pressed up against him, listening to Clay’s steady heartbeat. Clay runs his hands through George’s hair, savoring this moment with him.

“George?” He asks.

George hums in response, swaying with Clay to the rhythm of the song.

“I love you.”

George lifts his head and meets Clay’s eyes. 

“I love you too,” he whispers, and stands on his tiptoes so his face is level with Clay’s. When George leans in to kiss him, Clay meets him halfway, and even with the rest of the school surrounding them, he doesn’t pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first long fic i've written in a while and I'm honestly so proud of it. i hope you all loved reading it as much as i loved writing it! i am unsure what my next project will be, though i have an idea for another dnf fic. i just want to thank all of you for reading this, for leaving kudos and comments. because of you, i have loved writing this.  
> thank you all so much!!! take care of yourselves my loves <3


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